


The Alliance: Aftermath (Tom's story)

by Anifan1



Series: Alliance [4]
Category: Animorphs (TV), Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Brothers, Communication, Did I mention hugs?, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Healing, Hugs, Infestation, Involuntary Controllers, Love, More Hugs, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secrets, Siblings, Voluntary Controllers, Yeerks, hosts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22518016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anifan1/pseuds/Anifan1
Summary: After learning that Jake was infested by his old Yeerk, Tom helps Jake deal...
Series: Alliance [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1009743
Comments: 13
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

My name is Tom. I can't tell you my last name, because I'm in the Yeerk Peace Movement, and if the wrong people find out, they'll kill or infest my friends the Animorphs, and they'll definitely kill my Yeerk.

Up until now, I'd thought that the only Animorph who had been infested was Cassie. She'd befriended Aftran, who was now my Yeerk, in order to save the life of a little girl. That's a story for another time, though. Specifically, the first one in the memoirs that Cassie and I have written, both together and on our own, since I joined the Peace Movement.

Now, though, I just found out that Jake had been infested. Not with a decent Yeerk, but with my first one. Temrash 114, formerly 252.

Naturally, hearing this, I couldn't form a reaction. Couldn't even breathe. Suddenly, I became all too aware Aftran's presence in my mind, and in spite of myself, feared what she was thinking.

(Don't!) I yelled, suddenly.

Unlike other times when I'd suffered through a flashback, or been unable to react in time to seem normal, now, I needed Aftran to not take control. Not even gentle control, when she used my body for me, yet allowed me the ability to "override" her commands.

It had nothing to do with trust, and everything to do with the fact that I needed-that Jake needed-for me to be myself. Especially now.

(I won't, Tom, I promise) she reassured me, gently.

Guilt washed over me. (I'm sorry...)

Aftran hugged me. (It's okay, honey.)

Whether it was the need to act or, perhaps, the comfort of Aftran's mental hug, I felt myself able to breathe more freely. I took a deep breath in, then, slowly, let it out. Aware that Jake was watching me, probably studying me, gauging my reaction to his story.

Before I could speak, he did.

"Tom?" His voice echoed his concern, and I felt his hand suddenly taking mine, holding it tightly. It didn't hurt, but even if it had, I wouldn't have let go. I was glad for the physical contact.

I nodded, still unable to begin. How do you react when your little brother tells you he had been infested? Worse, with your first Yeerk?

So, I took another deep breath, while I tried-again-to process what I'd heard from my kid brother.

Except, the problem wasn't processing. I understood what my little brother had told me. He'd been infested. Not just infested, but by Temrash. Of all the Yeerks to get, it had been him. The one who had controlled me for nearly a year. He must have...

I couldn't even imagine it. Especially after he saw Jake's memories.

The realization hit me, suddenly. Temrash must have tortured my brother.

Acting solely on instinct, I wrapped both my arms around Jake, and squeezed him tight. Too tight, actually. After a few seconds, he began to struggle against me.

Immediately, I let go.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"Hey, no problem. It was just-I was having trouble breathing," he admitted, not quite looking at me.

Had it been Marco saying that, he would have found a way to make it a joke, but my brother didn't have that particular gift.

"Yeah." I was sure my face had reddened in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Jake," I repeated.

Jake shrugged, moving a little closer to me. Encouraged, I wrapped an arm around him, still needing to be close to him, but without damaging his lungs. He let out a small sigh, not speaking, just relaxing against me.

"Guess this is better?" I teased.

"Yeah." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him smiling.

We were quiet for a few minutes. Finally, I broke the silence. "Jake, do you-want to talk about it? It's okay-either way."

A part of me wanted Jake to say no. A larger part of me wanted-needed-to know everything. Every horrible detail of what had transpired. How long Jake had been infested, how he'd managed to escape, what Temrash had done to him. Everything.

(Tom.) Aftran's voice in my head was gentle, placating, even. But insistent.

She wouldn't take control away from me, wouldn't stop me from saying or doing something that would hurt me in the long run.

Still. In her own way, she was warning me to think again before saying or doing anything rash.

Which was, come to think of it, probably more effective than outright taking control from me.

I gave her a mental nod. (I know, Aftran. I won't push him.)

Anyway, Jake might not want to-might not be ready to-tell me everything all at once.

Or ever.

If that was the case, well, I had to be okay with this.

"Y-yeah." Jake nodded his head a little. "But...if..."

"If?" I raised my eyebrows.

"If it won't hurt you to hear about it," he explained. "I mean, you know, flashbacks, and stuff."

When I looked at him, I saw there were tears in his eyes. Jake never cried. Well, not since he was a little kid.

Again, I felt the overwhelming need to protect him. I gave his shoulder a light squeeze. It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. What could I do, what possible words of support could I possibly give to Jake?

Teenager, leader of the resistance against the Yeerk empire notwithstanding, he was my kid brother.

It had always been my job to keep him from getting hurt. Even now.

Except, I couldn't. Because, he already had been hurt.

The worst that could have happened to him, had. If there was one thing I held onto during my time as an involuntary Controller, it was that Jake was free. Oblivious to the war, to what so many people faced under the Yeerks. Ignorance is bliss, and all that.

Then, I'd found out that he was the leader of the so-called "Andalite Bandits". Which had both freaked me out and made me insanely proud.

Okay, fine, so he hadn't been as oblivious as I had imagined. That knowledge had opened up a whole new can of worms, but for the most part, we'd grown closer for it. After all, how could he have saved me, if he hadn't known about the Yeerks? Hadn't been fighting them?

At least, I'd told myself, he'd never been an involuntary host. So, even as he was fighting the Yeerks and dealing with his own inner battles-which I could help him with-he'd never experienced what I had. So, there was that.

Now, my worst nightmare for him had come true. Jake had been infested. Sure, only for three days, but what did that really matter? Three days under Temrash or Gariss must have felt like years at the time.

How could I handle this? Knowing my kid brother had been infested with my first Yeerk? I felt completely inept, almost helpless.

(Tom, you have already done so much for him,) Aftran hugged me again, giving me a mental smile. (Your being with me, instead of a slave to the empire, has helped him greatly. You're fighting together, now, not against each other.)

(Thanks.)

It was true. Not to self aggrandize, but I couldn't underestimate what I could do for Jake, now. Being free, being his older brother. Able to offer support.

Also, I noted, he'd just asked me if I could handle it. I had to respect him just for that.

"Midget." I felt my voice soften. "I can handle whatever you want to tell me. Besides," I added, attempting a joke, "I have help. Which is why you waited, if I recall correctly." I pointed to my head, which got him to crack a smile, and nod.

Jake remained curled up against my shoulder, possibly nestling in deeper. I wrapped my free arm around him, tight enough to provide comfort, but not wanting Jake to feel trapped.

"Right. So, like I said, we were at the clinic, during the battle with the Controllers-I fell into the pool," he began, slowly. "I think I was only half conscious. I don't remember him crawling into my ear, but there was definitely a pain in my head. For awhile, I think, I could still move. Still talk. But I heard his voice in my head, and it took me awhile to figure it out. Too long. He'd taken control by the time I'd known what had happened. Actually," Jake turned to me, wincing, "he told me what had happened."

I groaned internally. I could imagine it. Poor Jake. "Jake. You couldn't have known."

He sort of shrugged against me, looking up at my face. "I mean, Tom, it happened so quickly. Before I knew it, I couldn't do anything. Not move, not even blink. And his voice..." Jake stopped talking. Was he reliving all of this, as he remembered it? "He told me that he'd been your Yeerk. At first, I thought that meant you were free. But, then, he told me that you had been reassigned to another Yeerk."

I could almost envision the interaction. Jake's horror, then momentary relief that I might be free now, followed by despair as he realized I was still a slave.

It occurred to me that, in my head, Aftran hadn't reacted to any of this with surprise. Of course. When she had first infested Cassie, she'd opened up some of her memories. She might have seen others, since then. Probably, this was among them. Your leader getting captured by the Yeerks had to be something that remained at the forefront of your brain.

Especially since she liked him.

(Yes,) she explained, simply. (I knew what happened, Tom. But, only from Cassie's point of view.)

I could have been angry at her. Maybe, in the beginning of our time together, I would have been. But, I wasn't. Okay, she'd known all along, but it wouldn't have been right for Aftran to tell me. It had to come from Jake.

When he'd been ready.

Now.

Well, technically, he'd been ready at the cabin, but didn't want me to go through this without Aftran there.

Poor Jake. I held him a little closer to me, and he let out a little sigh.

(Then, this isn't much of a surprise to you,) I observed.

(To be frank, no. I only met Temrash briefly. We had Hork-Bajir hosts and fought together, before I was promoted to the Visser's guard. I knew that he had a reputation for being particularly unkind to his hosts,) Aftran continued, flinching mentally.

(Unkind,) I repeated, giving Aftran a mental eye roll. (Yeah. That's the empire for you.)

I felt her hug me in response. I hugged her back, but broke it off sooner than I would have, normally. I had to focus my attention back towards Jake. Right now, I was the protective big brother. Not the traumatized former involuntary brother he'd had to save.

With that in mind, I figured it would be best to direct the topic to something-I hoped-would be less traumatic, but still relevant. Besides, it wasn't like I wasn't curious to find out how they'd managed to free him. Believe me, Temrash would have gone straight to Visser Three before anyone could have said "Yeerk invasion". He'd been an empire loyalist to a tee, like so many of his fellow Yeerks, but mostly because if there was a promotion in sight, he'd do anything in his power to obtain it.

"So, um, how'd your friends figure it out?" I asked, partly because this had to be a safe question, but also because I genuinely wanted to know.

"It was Ax." Jake looked up at me, actually smiling. "Somehow, he knew. And Temrash's reaction when he saw him-it was total hate. So, the others decided to keep me tied up until the Yeerk starved."

"That can't have been easy, since you could morph," I mused. "Not like when you rescued me, Midget."

When Gariss had woken up tied to a chair in the shack, surrounded by the so-called Andalite bandits, without so much as a Dracon beam to protect himself, he must have known there was no chance of escape. Unlike Temrash controlling Jake in the same situation. Same location, even.

Jake laughed, almost harshly. "Well, yeah. He morphed several times, but they always managed to stop him."

I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Then, another thought occurred to me. "What about Erek, or the other Chee? Did they try that, to lure him out?"

Erek had already kept one Yeerk as a prisoner, but that hadn't kept him from taking on Gariss. Besides, unless androids went through upgrades and he'd been unable to carry two Yeerks beforehand, surely he would have been able to offer Temrash Kandrona rays, just like Gariss?

Jake shook his head. "That was a few months before we knew about the Chee. So, it was either escape or die, and they couldn't let Temrash escape."

"Did he leave your head before he starved to death?" I'd only heard a little about the details of the fugue, but it was supposed to be the worst kind of pain imaginable for a Yeerk. Since the Kandrona rays literally repaired a Yeerk's body, dying from lack of them had to be like having your body being torn apart. Atom by atom. Most Yeerks would do anything to avoid it.

"No." Jake shrugged, thinking this over. "It's weird. I don't know why he didn't leave when he knew he was going to die. Maybe, he didn't have the strength to leave my head. Maybe, he thought that I'd suffer with him, and he wanted me to." Jake paused, maybe realizing what he'd just said, before adding, "I didn't. Feel any pain, I mean. I was aware of his pain, but it was more like watching something on TV, or seeing someone dying of thirst, but you didn't know them, and you were too far away to help. The fugue didn't hurt me. I was just...waiting."

"Good." That was something, at least. After a short pause, because I had to know, I asked, "Jake. Did he hurt you much?"

Jake didn't reply immediately. "Not a ton, at first. He gloated, mostly. Fantasied a lot about bringing my friends back to Visser Three, and how he'd be promoted."

I snorted. "Typical empire slug."

"But, when I mocked him for that," Jake added, not looking at me, "he played one of my old fantasies. From before the war began."

I winced. "I'm sorry." Then, I added, "You don't have to tell me. If you don't want to."

Jake paused, just for a minute. "No. Like I said, it was stupid. I-I was older, and won a basketball game on a professional level. You and everyone else there congratulated me."

I forced myself not to grin. I could see why Jake would find it embarrassing, especially when a cruel Yeerk was replaying it in his head. The funny part, really, was that whatever praise he'd received in his fantasy would be nothing compared to what kind of honors he'd receive from out government and our military after winning the war.

Which, of course, I had to let him know. "That's nothing compared to the honors you'll receive once you defeat the empire, Jake."

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "Right."

Time to change the subject. "So, um, when'd he tell you that I was his host before you?"

From what I'd known about Temrash, he played his cards close to his chest. It could have been on the second or third day that he'd let it slip. Then again, if he'd wanted to break Jake, it might have been earlier.

"Actually, that was pretty much the first thing he told me," Jake replied, quietly.

Jerk.

"And did-did Temrash talk much about me?"

It wasn't that I was being egotistical, or even self conscious. Not really. Jake and I had always been close, except when I'd gotten involved in The Sharing, and I knew that Temrash would have used this against him. Come to think of it, that probably would have been more painful for Jake than any dream or fantasy he could have replayed.

Jake nodded, swallowing hard. "Not a lot, but yeah. He showed me a conversation that he had with me, but from your side, Tom. I saw how broken you were. You kept beginning him to stop trying to get me to join The Sharing. You promised to stop fighting if he'd leave me alone." He paused, before adding, "He told me that it was always like that. The host tries to fight, but they eventually give up and become broken."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was true that I'd given up. Torture and being a slave inside your mind for almost a year can do that to someone. I felt a little ashamed of myself, for giving Temrash that ammunition to use on Jake, even though I knew that I hadn't really done anything wrong.

As though responding to my thoughts, Jake added, "I don't blame you, Tom. I would have, too. If it had gone on as long as it had for you. Especially if he'd gotten Cassie and Marco and Rachel and Ax captured. I'm not that strong."

He was stronger than I was, but there was no point in telling him this again. "I hate that you had to see me like that, Midget."

He just hugged me. "You're free, now, Tom."

I smiled. "Thanks to you, Midget."

We were quiet for a few minutes. Jake was the one to break the silence.

"When he was dying, some of his memories got transferred to me," Jake told me, watching me. "I saw all of his hosts."

This was news.

"Yeah?" I recalled.

Jake nodded. "A Gedd, then, there was a Hork-Bajir, who fought him every day. And you." Jake hesitated, just for a few seconds, before telling me, "And I saw why you joined The Sharing, and how you got taken. How hard you fought, Tom, even as they dragged you to the Yeerk Pool."

I managed to smile-probably ironically-at the last part. "Yeah, well, like it did me much good. Anyway, at the time, I thought they were going to drown me in that pool. Couldn't imagine that one of those brain slugs was going to take over my body and my life."

(No offense, Aftran,) I added, a little sheepishly.

(Oh, none taken,) she laughed.

Jake just shrugged at my dismissal of what had happened. "Well, it made me proud. Anyway, you were still fighting when we invaded the Yeerk Pool the first time. How long was that after you were infested?"

I gnawed on my lip, trying to remember. "Maybe, three months?"

"It made me so proud, Tom," Jake told me.

I grinned. "It was stupid to go up against Visser Three."

Not that I regretted it at the time. Especially not now.

Jake grinned back at me. "Yeah, well. You saved my life, even if you didn't know it was me. We're both alive, thanks to you. And free."

"That's thanks to you, Midget," I retorted.

I'd still had some hope, then. Especially when the "Andalite Bandits" invaded the official Yeerk territory. I thought that they'd be back. That there would be more of them, and they would save us.

They weren't. Oh, sure, I knew that they fought in other ways. Still. It seemed like their raid on the pool was a one time thing. They barely got out alive, after all.

After awhile, and maybe hastened by Temrash's constant goading and other ways of getting to me, I had to admit defeat.

Jake didn't say anything right away. Just stayed close, finally, curled himself up against my side. We stayed like that for a little while, not talking. After awhile, Jake remained nestled against my shoulder, clearly about to fall asleep-and who could blame him?-so, I leaned back against the couch cushions.

The conversation might have ended then, at least for now, when a memory came to me.

The few days when Jake was acting really weird, playing with words and eating a lot.

"Hey, Midget?" I asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, gently.

He opened his eyes. "Yeah, Tom?"

"By any chance, did Ax get stuck with the role of morphing you and pretending to be you while you were...you know?" I asked, suddenly sure that was the case.

After all, looking back, it had been three days of that bizarre behavior. Maybe, it had been what convinced Gariss that Jake wasn't worth pursuing as a host. Voluntary or otherwise.

"Yeah." Jake grinned. "Tobias was still a nothlit, then, and neither of the others could morph me for that long, since they had their own families. So, it had to be Ax. I heard later that he didn't quite pull it off."

"Yeah. Still, if he was your only option, I guess you had to do it that way," I allowed, shaking my head.

"Afterwards," Jake began, "when I knew what had happened to you, I wanted to give you hope, even if we couldn't figure out how to free you."

"That weird sounding message?" I remembered it, all too clearly. How freaked out Gariss had been, as much as he tried to hide this from me. Ironically, that, more than the message itself, got me to hope again. "Don't give up, Tom. Don't ever give up. That was you?"

Jake nodded his head. "I morphed, partly, into wolf. Enough to change how my voice sounded. And we kept it short enough so that, according to Ax, it wouldn't be traced," he explained. "Did it-?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Jake. It helped me."

Jake seemed to perk up a little at this. "Good."

(It was all they could do, then,) Aftran reminded me. (They were kids, not military strategists. You know that Jake wanted to free you as soon as he could. It just...)

(Wasn't in the cards until after you came around?) I finished.

(Not that they could see. Even if they had thought to use a Chee to hold your previous Yeerk hostage back when they first met them, there was still the problem of keeping you safe from the empire,) Aftran explained.

(I get it, now. Hindsight, and all that. Didn't help me, then.) I knew my tone was bitter, and I was glad that Jake couldn't hear it.

I wouldn't let my bitterness show that he'd allowed me to stay a slave for almost two years after knowing about it. It must have crushed him, especially having to live with the Yeerk pretending to be me. It wouldn't be fair to blame him. Like Aftran said, it wasn't like he and his friend were experts in this.

Really, I was kind of amazed that they had thought to replace Gariss with Aftran, after freeing her.

Once again, I felt Aftran hug me. Tightly. (I know, Tom.)

"You ever get nightmares about him?" I asked Jake. "Because I still do."

Especially my initial infestation. Temrash gloated way too much. Forget trying to ease me into my new reality-he made it as difficult as he possibly could. Part of his plan to get me nice and broken, probably.

"Sometimes, yeah. But, mostly, it's the tiger morph dream," Jake explained. "You remember? The one I had at the cabin."

I nodded. "Yeah. I remember."

It was better than dreaming about Temrash, right? I wasn't sure. Is it better to dream about hunting your brother and then him hunting you, or the Yeerk who had infested both you and your brother?

"I guess," Jake mused, "that Aftran helps when you get nightmares?"

"Oh, definitely," I confirmed, laughing a little. "Aftran's a huge help with that. She talks to me, tells me stories, sometimes plays a good memory to calm me down afterwards. I mean, after getting my consent and all. And, Midget, there are even time when all it takes for me to calm down is to hear her voice. To know that it's not like-before. I know that my nightmares aren't going away anytime soon, but...we have a good system in place for dealing with them."

(To-om,) Aftran half pouted, (you forgot to include Yeerk songs.)

I sent her a mental eye roll. (Aftran, you know I love those, but I think Jake might be weirded out by the idea of Yeerk lullabies.)

Besides, a part of me still thought that, at almost eighteen, I was kind of old for lullabies. Alien ones or not.

Aftran, very maturely, sent me an image of a child sticking out her tongue at me. (You're hardly too old for them, if they help you.)

I laughed. (Okay, okay.)

Jake seemed relieved to hear this but also...envious? Maybe, just a little? Because, really, what were his options when he had a nightmare? Just try to go back to sleep, I guessed.

Again, I felt guilty. I'd known that Jake had suffered from nightmares. Our rooms weren't that far apart. But I'd never really extended an offer of help.

Too busy on my own journey to recovery, probably.

"Jack, you can always wake me up, if you have one and need to talk," I offered.

"Really?" Jake, who had shifted his position to simply leaning against my shoulder, looked at me in mild surprise. "I don't want to keep you and Aftran from sleeping." He paused. "Does she sleep?"

"Yeah, but way less than I do. Like, a couple of hours every three days. If they can't get it in their host, they get it in the Pool," I answered, not bothering to check with Aftran, since she'd told me all about this awhile back. "And I can sleep while she's awake, so it's not like either one of us will be sleep deprived if you wake us up in the middle of the night. So," I concluded, squeezing his hand, "if you have a nightmare, or just can't sleep, and you want to talk, ever, wake me up, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

I wasn't sure he'd take me up on it, but at least I'd made the offer.

(We might have to take the initiative the first few times,) Aftran observed. (If I hear what sounds like a nightmare when you're sleeping, I'll try to rouse you.)

Senses, I knew, were dimmer when the host was sleeping.

(Right,) I conceded. (Anyway, we should probably start sleeping with the door open, or at least partially open-in that case.)

Aftran had probably come to the same conclusion, but unlike Temrash or Gariss, she didn't mock me for not being the first to see it. She simply acknowledged this with a mental nod.

My stomach began to growl, then, and I noticed that Jake's was making similar noises. "So, Midget. Ready for pizza?"

"Always." Jake laughed. "Let's order from that place nearby."

Despite the vague description, I knew exactly what he was talking about. "On it."

We could have driven there. It would have been faster than waiting for a delivery. But, even with the conversation about Temrash more or less resolved, I didn't think either of us wanted to go outside and face the public.

I gave Jake's shoulder's a final squeeze, then headed into the kitchen to put in a delivery request with our favorite toppings, and listened as the girl who answered the phone told me the price and the wait time.

Jake was still on the couch when I returned.

"Fifteen to twenty minutes," I told him. "I got our usual."

Jake smiled at me. "Great. I'm starving."

"Same here." I draped an arm around his shoulders again. "Want to watch TV while we wait?"

"Sure."

I channel surfed, but aside from the news, nothing much was on now, so I turned it off.

"Hey, Tom?" Jake asked, after a minute.

"Yeah, Jake?"

Jake turned towards me, studying me. "You and Aftran? Do you talk a lot?"

I shrugged. "I guess it depends on what's normal, especially for Peace Movement Yeerks. Or voluntary hosts." Which, technically, was what I was, now. Even if I still spent my time in the cages when she fed. Had to keep up appearances, after all. "I wouldn't say we talk all the time, but yeah, we probably talk a lot."

"About what?" he asked. Then, he added, quickly, "I mean, if it's not too personal."

I shook my head. "It's not, and anyway, if anyone has the right to know about the personal stuff, it's you, Jake." Aftran, I noticed, was staying fairly quiet in the back of my head. "Outside of the whole dealing with the aftermath of being an involuntary host, I guess it's stuff related to trying to live a regular life. We 'talk' in class when things get boring, because, you know, school is pretty boring."

Jake cracked a smile at that. "I can see why that part of having a Yeerk in your head wouldn't be too horrible."

"Definitely." I smiled back at him. "It's way better than just daydreaming. It's a little like-you know how you and Marco and Cassie and Rachel can only use thought speech when you're in morph?" I began.

Jake nodded. "So, you two just sort of talk about regular stuff when school's going on?"

"Pretty much. Sometimes, we talk about all of you. How you're coping with the war." I paused, just for a second before adding, "I mean, she cares about all of you, Jake."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah. I know it may seem weird." I gave him a playful nudge. "But, you know, we're all fighting this war together. You guys are on the front line, but me and Aftran and the other members of the Peace Movement, we're still in the war. We're like the secret spies, scouting out intel to sabotage the Yeerks. Same war, different methods of combat."

Jake just nodded, taking this in.


	2. Chapter 2

We sat in silence for awhile, eating pizza. The rest of the evening passed pretty normally. I guessed I was still adjusting to having Aftran back in my head. Not that it was a bad thing, having her back. The opposite, really. We didn't talk very much while I did my homework and then relaxed, rereading an old comic book. One of Aftran's favorites, because of all of the colors and the drawings. Finally, it was time for bed. After getting changed and brushing my teeth, she tucked me in, pulling the blankets up to my chin, and tucking them around my legs and feet, like I was some big caterpillar.

I'd never slept that way before her, but I'd gotten used to it pretty quickly. On cool nights, it definitely kept in the warmth. I lay still now, once she had me all nice and tucked in to her specifications (okay, and mine), and I was just laying there, savoring the feeling of the warmth flowing over my body, mixed in with Aftran's hug inside my head. I felt so comfortable, I'd probably be able to fall asleep without any Yeerk songs or ministrations from Aftran. At the same time, I didn't want this feeling to disappear, only to wake up the next day and have to give it all up when I went to school. I wanted-needed-to enjoy it a little longer.

(Aftran?) I asked, before she could ask me which way I wanted her to help me sleep.

(Yes, Tom?) Her smile was nearly as warm as the hug.

I rolled over on my side, carefully. (Did Karen sleep this way? Before?)

(Not at first. I experimented, one night, when her mother had just washed the sheets, and they were still warm from the dryer when her mother tucked her-us-in bed,) Aftran recalled. (I tucked the sheets and the blankets around her body completely. Then, she asked for control, but didn't expect me to give it to her. I did, after warning her that...) Aftran trailed off. (Anyway, Karen didn't yell or anything. She just...she was so relieved at being able to move her body and feel the warm covers, completely. She slept so soundly that night.) Aftran gave a mental shrug. (So, I continued to tuck her in this way, then give her control during that short period of time, and she always slept better as a result. I told myself that if it came out in a memory dump, I would argue I had done it to care for my host. Now, I suppose, I became used to sleeping that way, too, with my host.)

The image of Karen being able to fall asleep on her own was a good one. Aftran had cared about her, even if she had to pretend that she didn't.

(Clearly.) I gave her a mental eye roll. (So, you convinced Cassie to sleep like this?)

(Well, I didn't address the topic when I first stayed in her head long enough to sleep,) Aftran laughed. (I still felt, very much, like a guest in her body. Even though I knew that she wanted the arrangement to be longer.)

(What about during those four days?)

She nodded. (She allowed it, twice. She preferred her way, so, we'll be doing that when I spend the night with her.)

I felt a little relief at hearing this. I was the only one Aftran did this for, now. Then, guilt. It shouldn't be a competition between us. Aftran reached out to me, holding me again.

(Tom,) she chided gently. (She's happy for you.)

(But she misses you,) I noted. (When you're not there.)

Aftran sighed. (Yes, but it's not unbearable for her. It helps, for her to visit with me sometimes.)

(And, there's Friday,) I added, brightening.

(Yes,) Aftran laughed, still holding me in a secure hug.

I could feel myself growing sleepy, in spite of my efforts to remain awake. Well, no use fighting it...

(Aftran? Sing me a Yeerk song, please?)

(Of course.)

The next day, there was a Sharing meeting, but it was a short one, which gave Aftran more than enough time for a feeding at the Yeerk Pool. It had only been two days, so she wasn't experiencing any hunger. Still. Neither one of us wanted to get up early the next day, hours before school. Besides, Temrash and Gariss had both utilized the "feeding before school" option only when nothing else was available. It had meant waking me up at 5AM to arrive around 5:15, maybe 5:30 if there were lines or extra traffic on the roads. Two hours later, it would be around 7:30, and they would take me directly to school. If a Sharing meeting took place on the same day, and if there was extra homework or a test to study for...they'd be exhausted by the end. While Temrash never objected to me sleeping in my mind, Gariss was of the opinion that the more discomfort he had to experience, the more I should.

Anyway, I waited in the cages, listening to the familiar screaming and crying, while Aftran fed and tried to recuit for the Peace Movement. At the last count, there were just over two hundred and fifty members, half of which had hosts. Most of them were Taxxons or humans, but still. We'd been growing rapidly since the Animorphs had rescued Aftran. Being friends with the "Andalite Bandits" had perks. If the Andalites won, it was possible that there would be room for voluntary hosts. If they lost-well, as long as they weren't found out, no harm, no foul.

Aftran took full control when it was time for her to infest me again, but even with this, she was a lot more gentle with my mind than Temrash or Gariss had ever been. She let go as soon as we were away from the Yeerk Pool, and I drove us home. It would be time for dinner when we arrived. As far as my parents knew, I'd gone to a Sharing meeting after next time she would need to feed would be Sunday morning, but not super early. Probably, we'd leave around 10 or so.

"Dinner's in fifteen," Mom informed me (well, us) when I got in. "Let Jake know, okay, sweetie?"

"Sure thing, Mom."

Jake was sitting on the floor of his room, playing a video game. I had to smile at the normalcy of it all. "Hey, Midget? Mom says that dinner's in fifteen minutes."

He nodded. "Sharing meeting?"

"A long one," I answered, pointing to my ear discreetly.

Jake paused the game and shut the door.

Aftran took that as a cue to leave, and Jake could see that it was me.

"You're safe?" he confirmed, voice cracking, ever so slightly.

I nodded as I held Aftran in my hands. "Yeah, it's her. I'll put her back in now, unless..."

"Go for it."

Once she was back in my ear, he opened his door again, then glanced at me, and then the TV screen.

"You want to play?" he asked.

I nodded, taking a seat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. "Sure, Midget."

I'd gotten a lot better with my reaction time during the last couple of months. Not as good as I'd been before joining The Sharing, but I was getting there.

(Who ever said that video games were horrible for your brain?) I joked.

(Well, certainly no Controller,) she laughed.

We only had time to play one round before dinner. Jake beat me, but it was close. After we got up, on impulse, I gave him a hug.

"Midget, I'm always here if you want to talk, okay?" I told him.

He squeezed me back, hard. Protectively. "Yeah. Okay."

The following day, after school, I drove myself and Jake to Cassie's so we could let her and Aftran have a sleepover. There wouldn't be any Sharing meetings the next day (there would be something for all members the following day, though), so we'd agreed that I'd come back the following day around 1. Enough time for the two of them to have plenty of girl time together, while not putting me into a state of near withdrawal. Or whatever it was when you were dependent on your Yeerk and couldn't function without them for too long.

Although, even there, I was improving.

Jake watched the whole exchange intently, more so than he usually did. Okay, usually, he kind of tried not to look at us, because, in all fairness, the image of a Yeerk going from one head to another was hardly an attractive one. Especially since they had to flatten themselves to get out of the ear canal, and then resumed their shape...

Yeah. I was glad that I could only see it out of the corner of my eye.

Cassie, too, I imagined. As much as she liked Aftran.

Would it be different if they looked more-pretty? Whatever the word was. I mean, the idea of a slug entering a ear would be bound to get a visceral reaction even from a likely voluntary human. Maybe, if they looked like...I don't know, maybe, ladybugs or something?

Jake watched the exchange with some interest, not turning away when he must have seen part of Aftran's body when she was between my ear and Cassie's.

Points for him.

I felt more than a little empty without Aftran, but at least this would be for less than twenty-four hours this time.

After exchanging our goodbyes, Jake asked me if we could take a walk before heading home.

"Sure. How about the trail near our house?" I asked, trying not to let my surprise show.

It wasn't that Jake wasn't active, but he'd never been much for just walking for the sake of it.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Okay."

The trail was free of people this time of day. We walked for a few minutes, not saying anything.

I spoke first. "You okay, Midget?"

"Yeah. Well, enough," he answered, truthfully. "You?"

I sighed. "Same. Still more than a little freaked that that happened to you, Midget."

He forced a laugh. "I wasn't sure I was ever going to tell you. Or get to tell you."

"You can tell me anything, Jake." Gently, I placed my arm on his hand. Just to let him know that I could give him support. A hug, if he needed one. Yeah, even in public. "You know that, right?"

I didn't want to prod, but I needed him to know. I'd be there for him, no matter what.

He nodded, then studied me. "Tom, I-I just don't want to hurt you any more than you have been."

I moved my arm to Jake's shoulder. Stopped walking, making him stand still. "Hey. Don't do that to yourself. Hide something, to protect me."

"I didn't-" he began, a little defensive.

I raised my hands in surrender. "Sorry. That came out wrong." I paused, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. "I mean, I have someone who can help me. An unexpected advantage to that, you know." I smiled, probably a little sardonically. "So, yeah, it hurt, to hear how Temrash infested you and was a complete and total jerk. And look, I do not blame you for not telling me sooner, okay? I just mean, if it comes down to you keeping it hidden as a way to protect me, but it hurts you to do it, then don't. Keep it inside, I mean. Like I said, Aftran can help me...process it, I guess."

"Okay." His voice was quiet.

This wasn't helping. I knew-he knew-that my words felt more like a rebuke than encouragement. Time for something more concrete.

I reached out and hugged Jake. He squeezed me back.

"I just want to help you, Jake," I managed.

Jake's hold on me seemed to tighten. "I know."

We let go a few minutes later. We walked a little more in silence. Jake spoke up again.

"Is it weird having her around like that? After having two who were awful?"

I swallowed hard. "At first. Of course, in case you don't remember, Midget, you were the one who kind of convinced me to trust her." I nudged him in the ribs, gently, teasingly, which got a real smile. "So, that kind of set the ball rolling. Besides, we had boundaries set, and a trial period, so it wasn't like, take me and we totally trust you not to hurt me. It was-controlled." I made a face. "Weird word to use, but correct, I guess?"

"You seemed to get better almost immediately," Jake recalled. "Not overnight, Tom, but I could see you becoming more how I remembered you each time she left you. But, sometimes? It-it was hard to know, when she was there, when it was really you."

"A lot of the time, it wasn't," I admitted. "Oh, I had full control in private and and when it was just us, but there were times when I would have broken down in front of Mom and Dad, if she hadn't been there. I didn't like it, feeling so helpless, but..." I shrugged. "I guess, it was sort of motivation. To trust her to help me."

Jake stopped walking. "She's never hurt you, or kept control for longer than she needed to?"

I stopped walking, too. Put both hands on Jake's shoulders, looked him in the eye. "Never. Not once."

Jake hugged me again, just as tightly as before. "Okay. I just, I had to know."

"She's never hurt me, Midget. Or Cassie. She's not like the others," I promised.

Like Temrash. Gariss. Visser One. Visser Three. Heck, pretty much all of the Vissers, I'd bet.

An idea came to me, but it wouldn't be fair to Aftran if I mentioned it to Jake until she was back.

I hid a sigh. Waiting, again.

At least, this time, it would only be a day.

"Tom?" Jake asked, after we'd broken apart.

"Yeah, Midget?" I put an arm around his shoulder as we continued our walk.

"When Aftran enters your head," he began. "What's it like?"

I frowned, thinking for a second. "It's different, depending on if it's after we talk to Cassie or after she'd fed in the pool. Did you want to hear about one in particular, or both?"

"Both," he answered, speaking almost as soon as I'd finished talking.

I laughed a little. "Okay. Why don't we sit down?"

At Jake's nod, we took a few more steps until I found us a nice stopping point at the base of a nearby large tree. It provided a nice shady area, and it was out of the way from the public path that we'd be able to see if anyone was approaching.

"How's this, Midget?" I asked him.

Jake surveyed the area. "Looks good."

"Okay. So, how about if I tell you about the pool first, since that's the worst?" I glanced at Jake, and he nodded, then took my hand. I squeezed it. "As you've seen, the guards hold the involuntaries like me down, so that she has plenty of time to get in. When she first starts to climb into my ear, I feel a very small amount of pain, like a shot. But, as soon as I can register it, the pain's gone. Yeerks naturally secrete painkillers, which also work to repair any damage they cause when they climb into their host's ear. Ours are pretty small, considering their size. They can stretch themselves pretty thin, but still..." I shrugged, studying Jake's reaction, which seemed more interested than disgusted, or horrified. "So, yeah, I don't feel anything except pressure after Aftran doses my ear with the painkilling anesthetic."

He nodded. "Then, what happens?"

"As she moves farther into my head, I lose more control," I answered, truthfully. "It's pretty gradual, but it's kind of random. Like morphing, you know? It's not like I can know if it will be my feet first, or my left arm first. Plus," I added, a little jokingly, "like morphing, it's never been the same way twice."

Jake shut his eyes, like he was imagining the scene playing out. "Then, she has control of every part of you."

I squeezed his hand, again. "Only until we're out of the Yeerk Pool area. She always lets go once we're gone. The whole thing is probably over with in five minutes, Jake."

He nodded, but didn't look especially reassured. "But after she infests you, after she's been in Cassie's head, it's not like that?"

"That's right. I mean," I clarified, "the painkiller is still the same, but I think Aftran kind of suppresses her instincts so that she doesn't take control once she starts to connect to my mind. She's able to get to my senses without making me lose control of anything. Which I prefer, obviously," I added.

"Why can't she do that at the Pool?" Jake wondered.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He'd been to the Yeerk Pool, but he'd never seen the way the guards studied hosts. "Way too easy for someone to suspect something. I can't fake being empire Yeerk level calm at the Pool, not like Aftran. It's safer for both of us if she's in charge in front of hundreds of people and Hork-Bajir and Taxxons who, even if they don't have Yeerks when they see us, will have them within an hour. It's one thing for an involuntary host like me to be freaked out. That's normal. But a Yeerk like Aftran, who's playing my old Yeerk? That's just asking for problems."

Jake made a face, but nodded. "Yeah, that'd be way too risky. Even if you could fake it, it wouldn't be worth it. No offense, Tom."

I smiled. "None taken. It's why she has full control whenever we're in a Yeerk setting, but loose control at some other times."

"Huh?" Jake stared at me like I had just grown an extra set of eyeballs.

Right. I'd probably never explained that to him. Certainly, Temrash wouldn't have.

"Full control is when a Yeerk is connected to your body so that, even if they're just sitting or lying down and not doing anything, you can't do anything. You're powerless. Like when you were infested by Temrash," I explained, "but loose control is when they're the one using your body, but in a way that you can do so, too. Without having to fight them. It's essentially sharing control."

"But-" Jake broke off, clearly perplexed. "Why does she need to do that at all? Why not just let you be in charge?"

I could understand what he wasn't asking. I edged closer to him, putting an arm around his shoulder, again.

"Sometimes, it's easier when she's the one using my body. Like, if I want to take a nap during class." I nudged him, gently. "I can literally fall asleep in class and not get caught, because Aftran's there to make me look like a good little student. She's also faster at writing than I am, which we take advantage of when we do my homework. I'm sure I can think of other examples, but the point is, it's the best thing for both of us."

Jake laughed. "Okay. I guess it's not all bad."

"Right. Then, there's when we're in your meetings, and we both want to be able to say something. Aftran's sure not going to prevent me from talking, then, but I want her to be able to speak her mind, too. So, she uses loose control, and we say who's speaking beforehand," I pointed out. "Again, she's using my body, but so can I. And," I added, lest Jake start to freak out about this later, "don't worry, Midget. I promise, it doesn't hurt, and it's not any harder for me to talk or move when she's in this mode than it would be if she wasn't there."

Jake nodded, again. Probably processing everything. "When she's in your head, when she's not talking or taking control, do you feel her there?"

I frowned, clearly not following. "Huh?"

"I mean, can you feel her? Like, in your head?" Jake clarified.

I shook my head. "I can feel her emotions, but not physically, no. Not like there's water or something stuck in my brain," I told him. "Why? Did you feel Temrash like that?"

It was his turn to shake his his head. "But he had full control when he was there, so I couldn't really feel my body the way I can now. You know? Senses and stuff are kind of muted."

I could remember this, if I tried. Even when Aftran was in full control, she kept her hold on my senses light enough so I could feel everything, unless I wanted to take a nap. It just felt too strange, otherwise. Not that Temrash or Gariss had given a second thought to how I felt with them controlling my senses, as well as my body. The only plus side to that was any pain felt far off when they were there. Well, physical pain.

"I remember." I grimaced. "But, it's not like that, now. Even when she's in full control, Aftran gives me full access to my senses," I explained. "And when she's not, I hear her voice when she speaks to me, and I always have a sense of her emotions, but I don't feel like there's something in my brain. I mean, physically."

Jake managed a laugh. "Yeah, I can't imagine there would be many voluntary Controllers if it felt like there was water or something stuck in there."

"Probably not," I allowed, smiling.

We didn't talk much, or, rather, we didn't talk about Aftran or Yeerks in general. Jake asked if we could head back, maybe shoot some hoops, and I agreed. We spent an hour or so doing just that.

At one point, my parents were sure I'd go pro. That had been before The Sharing, before I'd basically went two and a half years without even touching a basketball. I might have the same gift, but I was out of practice, and I didn't have the kind of time it would take to catch up. Maybe after the war was over, maybe not. A part of me felt some regret every time I played, knowing what I'd lost.

A larger part of me was glad that I could still play. Me, not a Yeerk controlling my body.

I'd heard of hosts-mostly humans-losing control over their body after having been infested for years. I depended enough on Aftran for emotional support, and was relieved that I didn't need her for physical support. Would never need her for that.

If I'd continued being a slave to Gariss or another cruel Yeerk, though, it could have happened to me.

That night, I missed Aftran, but not as much as I had during the four days she'd been gone. This felt less like an ache as a sense that something was off. Like when you're a kid and sleeping at a friend's house, and you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. There's the disorientation, being in a strange bed, and the sense that the bathroom isn't where it's supposed to be, before you remember you're not at home. Going to bed without Aftran was kind of like that. It didn't hurt, or not too much, but it felt-unsettling.

As I tried to fall asleep in my bed, the blankets loose around me instead of tucked in, I thought again about my idea. How Jake would react to it. How Aftran would react to it. I was pretty sure that, of the two, she'd be the most like to agree to it. Really, she'd seen the beginnings of it in my mind before I had any real concept of it. Yeerk knowledge of their hosts and all of that. It had to get stronger over time-except, even after just a day into my time with Temrash, it felt like he knew my thoughts far better than I did. He'd certainly done little to ease the horror and embarrassment of seeing my worst memories play in great detail in my head.

He could have waited until I was asleep, like Aftran had done. That would have been the decent thing to do. Especially if he had had any real desire to make me into a semi-voluntary host.

I shuddered, reliving those memories. I closed my eyes, tightly, willing the images and his laughter to disappear. When they didn't, I tried taking deep breaths, the way Aftran had taught me. I forced myself to think of something else, anything else. That would lead to a more pleasant memory, I knew. That would make the pain-if not stop-at least fade.

I didn't remember if it worked. Just waking up the next day, knowing I hadn't had any nightmares.

Jake and I spent a good part of the morning doing homework. Really, I could have waited for Aftran to help me, but with Jake still stuck doing his work, it felt a little unfair on my part. We should suffer together through having to do schoolwork on the weekend. Especially when it was bright and sunny outside.

By about three in the afternoon, we were finished, and Jake suggested calling Cassie. I agreed. While I'd initially hoped that I would be waiting longer, I was more than ready for Aftran to come back. Anyway, it would probably be closer to four by the time we arrived at Cassie's barn.

I didn't want to eavesdrop, so I grabbed a random book from my room and began reading it. I'd hardly made it past a page before I heard Jake's footsteps.

"She told us we could head over whenever we wanted," he told me. Nodding at the book that was open in my hands, he added, "What's that?"

I shrugged, realizing I hadn't noticed the title before I'd began reading. Closing it and peering at the cover, I saw it was one of the books from the Redwall series. I'd been given them as a gift, probably from one of my grandparents, but I must have either never read them, or read them too long ago to remember much of anything.

"You ever read them?" I wondered, returning it to the shelf and following Jake out my room.

Jake shook his head. "Don't think so."

I drove the car, since even though Jake had his learner's permit, Dad had forbidden him from driving without himself or Mom present. I thought that there might be a law that you couldn't drive with someone younger than 21 with just a permit, but maybe that didn't apply to our state. Anyway, Jake flew more often than not, at least, when I wasn't a passenger.

Cassie was, of course, waiting in the barn, giving us her standard smile. She hadn't dressed up for the sleepover during the previous night, and was in her standard jeans and t-shirt this time, too. Not that she needed to dress up to look cute. Objectively speaking, of course. I knew that she was Jake's more-or-less girlfriend even if it wasn't official, but you could recognize that someone was attractive without wanting to date them.

I figured that, even if the war ended tomorrow, it would be some time before I was ready to date anyone.

Especially since that was sort of how I ended up as an involuntary Controller.

"Have a good time?" I asked Cassie, after she'd closed the door.

"We did," she answered. "And you?"

I nodded. "It felt weird, but not as bad as the four days. We should try this again, if you want?"

It was Cassie's turn to nod. "It doesn't have to be every weekend, Tom. I'm happy that I get to spend a few hours with Aftran a couple of times a week. I hope you know that?"

"I do." I turned to Jake, who followed the nodding sequence.

"Definitely," he told her. "We just want to find something that everyone can live with."

Cassie was quiet for a second, then spoke up again. "Aftran says that she wouldn't be surprised if, after the war, this kind of thing became popular. Fewer people taking on a Yeerk full time, but doing a sort of timeshare."

I laughed. "Would most Yeerks be able to handle it? Two or more different human brains on the regular?"

"It would take some adjusting to," Cassie agreed, "but if the alternative was no host at all..."

"They might want a day off each week," Jake considered. "Three days with one person, three with another, and one to just hang out in the pool."

Another pause, and then Cassie spoke up again. "Aftran thinks you might have a point, there."

I smiled a little, imagining their mental conversation. Cassie probably had less baggage than I did, but maybe not. Maybe, it was a different set of problems that she carried around with her.

"You ready?" I asked, speaking a little quietly. Gently, even.

Cassie nodded, and we both turned so that our ears faced each other. A minute later, I felt Aftran's touch, then the anesthetic, and finally, the pressure as she made her way to my brain. No loss of control, just the sudden connection of our two minds meeting.

(Hi,) I told her.

(Hi, Tom,) she answered, smiling at me. (How were things, this time?)

I gave a mental shrug. (You know. Weird without you, but not as bad as before.)

She nodded. (You are getting better at this.)

(I still...) I began, awkwardly.

I felt her hug me. (I know, I know. Just, try not to worry about it, okay?)

I didn't respond with words, just hugged her back, feeling my mind relax.

My shoulders seemed to ease, as well.

(Do you want to rest?) Aftran asked me, after a moment.

I considered, but mentally shook my head. (I think I'm okay. Thanks.)

(You're welcome,) she answered, smiling.

We said goodbye to Cassie, and left the barn. Jake stood close to me, and I wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"You okay, Midget?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he replied, turning to smile at me. "It's just-a year ago, even six months ago, if you'd told me we'd be doing this, I would have said you were crazy."

"Me, or just someone in general?" I teased, elbowing him a little.

Jake laughed. "I guess, someone in general," he clarified. "If it had been you, well, not only would I have thought your Yeerk had totally lost it, I would have been worried because of-"

He didn't finish.

"Infiltration," I finished, squeezing his shoulders.

"Yeah." He turned again, just a little, enough so that he looking right at me. "I worried about you-your Yeerk-suspecting me."

I nodded, completely understanding. "Temrash and Gariss were completely ignorant in that aspect, trust me. If they'd suspected anything, they'd have gone straight to Visser Three."

Jake nodded. "I knew that your Yeerks were close with Chapman, and he was close to Visser Three. Or, that Visser Three kept him close. We had to be super careful."

I managed a grin. "Like speaking in code and thinking my Yeerks had bugged the house?"

Jake laughed a little. "You have to admit, it was better to be paranoid than not. For all we knew, every Yeerk who wasn't living alone was bugging their host's house and listening to the conversations each night."

"Okay. I'll give you that," I conceded, although I privately thought that any Yeerk who bothered with this would feel the sleep deprivation within a couple of days. Protocol or not, most Yeerks weren't that diligent. "And, anyway, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be careful. Just that the real danger, around home, is Mom and Dad finding out about what's going on. Even though they're not infested, I don't think they should know that we're fighting a war against aliens. Not unless something huge changes, like Visser Three finally gets his wish and the invasion goes public. Which," I added, "is so not going to happen in the near future."

We entered the car, and Jake buckled himself into the passenger seat. He looked more at ease, now. "You know, Tom, it's great to be able to talk to you about this."

I smiled at him, hoping I looked sympathetic. It was hard to know what your expression looked like, when you couldn't see yourself. Even though Aftran swore there hadn't been long term damage with my motor skills, sometimes, it felt like I forgot how to act in certain situations. Or, at least, how to appear to others.

"Yeah, I bet. Me not being the enemy anymore has to be a huge weight off your shoulders," I answered, gently.

Jake reached for my hand. "It wasn't you, Tom. It was never you."

I squeezed it. "Yeah. I know. But, still."

He nodded, but his face darkened a little. "Yeah." He managed a smile. "But, hey, now we have you and Aftran on our side. That's not too bad."

"Yeah, pretty sweet exchange you got there, Midget," I snickered, and so did Aftran (in my head). "And me, of course."

"Well, since the Yeerk's in your head..." Jake pointed out, raising his eyebrows. "Yeah."

I squeezed Jake's hand, again. "Yeah," I repeated.


	3. Chapter 3

We were quiet on the drive back. After returning home, once we were back in my room and I had settled myself into a sitting position on my bed, Aftran-having received my permission-went through my memories of the last day. I relieved them, too, more vividly than I would have been able to recall on my own. Up to this point, Aftran mostly just accessed my memories for informational purposes. Not that she didn't ever play good memories back for me when I woke up from a nightmare, or had trouble falling asleep. But...it felt too potentially volatile. Something that should be a good memory could trigger a bad one that Gariss or Temrash had used to torture me. Once I started thinking of them, it could be awhile before I felt calm enough to even attempt sleeping. Better, really, to stick to what Aftran knew would work with me. Talking. Yeerk music. Occasionally, an old story from the Yeerk Pool. Something that we knew would help me, rather than hinder me.

At the same time, being able to let Aftran view my memories of the events that happened when she wasn't there-well, we both found it to be encouraging.

Anyway, I retained full control as Aftran viewed the events of the last twenty-four hours or so. Even so, I felt her emotions and reactions when she saw me talking to Jake, when I came up with my idea. Some surprise at my idea, relief at how well the conversation with Jake went. Finally, the memory stream ended, and I felt her reflecting on what she saw.

I was quiet, too. Sort of lost in my own thoughts, having viewed what had happened again, but also waiting for her to speak. To let me know what she thought.

(I don't know if it's my influence on the two of you, or if your minds are just very similar,) Aftran began, (but Cassie had the same idea that you did. Unlike her, though, you think that Jake might seriously consider it.)

I sent Aftran a mental eye roll. (What does that say about us?)

She laughed, a little, then sent me a mental shrug. (You're two entirely different people, but your thought patterns, in some ways, are very similar.)

(Maybe, that's because you spend a fair amount of time inside both of our heads,) I noted, half teasingly. (I don't know, Aftran. Could be that you're corrupting us.)

This evoked another giggle from my Yeerk. (Entirely possible,) she allowed.

I shifted on the bed, leaning back on my pile of pillows. (Anyway. What do you think about it?)

(If your brother agrees, it could be beneficial to him. Cathartic,) Aftran mused. (I don't have the benefit of seeing what happened to Jake, only seeing what Cassie experienced during that time, and what he told you. I'm certain that your experience with Temrash was far worse than Jake's, in part because he suffered for three days, while you suffered for closer to a year. All the same, if he were to trust me enough to let me inside his head, it could be a sort of...) Aftran paused. (A type of neutralizer, or antidote, to what he experienced.)

I nodded. (You help me with that, every day.)

She smiled at me. (Because you have, over time, trusted me to do so.)

(Yeah. Trust would play a big role in it,) I allowed. (Both, in him letting you inside his head, and then letting you help him, once you're there.)

(Exactly,) Aftran agreed, gently.

(What would you do, exactly? If he agreed?) I prodded.

(I'd do my best to connect with his mind without taking any control,) Aftran began, and by the way she spoke, it was clear that she'd already given this some thought. Probably, when she'd been at Cassie's. (That's difficult to do when you're infesting a host for the first time, but you are brothers, so given my familiarity with your mind, it could be easier. I don't know.) Aftran gave me a mental shrug. (If I couldn't, I'd certainly drop my control as soon as I connected to your brother's brain. Obviously, it would be far easier for him if I didn't need to do this. Anyway, once there, I wouldn't search his mind, even though I'd see and hear his thoughts.)

(Wait,) I interrupted, puzzled. (See and hear?)

(Well, yes. I would hear what he's thinking, but I would also see anything that he was envisioning,) Aftran explained. (Thoughts from hosts are rarely entirely visual or auditory.)

(Oh. Okay.) I hadn't given this much thought before, if any. (Then, what?)

Aftran smiled at me, gently. (If I had taken control at this point, I'd release it. If not, I'd simply begin by talking to him. Perhaps, I'd ask him how he was doing with me being in his head, as a starting point.) She gave me a mental shrug. (I would prefer for him to take the reigns, so to speak. His experience with Temrash was likely one of the Yeerk being in full control of everything, except his personal thoughts. I don't want to control your brother, only interact with him inside his head. It should be as comfortable for him as possible, and on his terms. Well, as much as it can be. I'll be experiencing his thoughts and emotions as long as I remain connected to his brain.)

(Like you do with me,) I pointed out.

It had been difficult in the beginning, with Aftran. Even though I knew she wouldn't punish me for anything I thought at or about her, and even though I was used to the invasion of my privacy and "host discipline" from both of my previous Yeerks, I'd be lying if I hadn't still felt it was a violation-intended or not, necessary or not-during the first week or so. By now, it was comforting for Aftran to know my thoughts, to have experienced all of my memories. But that had been after over a month of getting used to her. Jake wouldn't have that kind of time with her.

On the other hand, Cassie seemed to have adapted to Aftran within the span of a couple of days. Sure, that had been her second infestation period, and the first one hadn't lasted more than a couple of hours. So, maybe, Jake wouldn't feel-what I did. Anyway, even though I was sure he'd experienced torture from Temrash, and I wasn't about to minimize his experience, three days had to do less damage to someone's mind than over two years.

(Yes,) Aftran clarified, her voice soft. (I want to be as gentle with your brother's mind as possible. If he will let me in his head, I want him to look back on the experience-my having been there-as, at least, not traumatic.)

(That's a pretty low bar you're setting, Aftran,) I commented, dryly. (If all we're going for is Jake not being traumatized again, is it even worth raising the suggestion?)

She laughed. (That's the bare minimum I would hope for. If everything went well, especially during the infestation process, I would be a little more optimistic.)

(You don't think I'll end up sharing you with Jake, too?) I teased.

(Highly unlikely,) Aftran assured me.

(And if someone told you two years ago that you'd be taking turns rehabilitating the broken host brother of the leader of the rebel invasion, and being the Yeerk bestie of another member of the rebel invasion?) I prodded, grinning.

(I'd have assumed you'd ingested the ginger instant oatmeal,) Aftran replied, promptly.

Instinctively, I wrinkled my nose. More than a few Yeerks had gone crazy that way, and then been killed, alongside their hosts. Plus, there'd been a rumor that the rebels had doused the Yeerk Pool with the substance. Gariss had never gotten near the stuff, thankfully. I didn't know if a crazy Yeerk in my head would have been as horrible as an evil one, but the stuff did make it so that the Yeerk didn't have to feed in the Yeerk Pool. The only way of escape was death. I was glad that, in my case, it hadn't come down to that.

(So,) I asked Aftran, (when are we going to ask him about this?)

(Let's wait until tomorrow,) she suggested.

I nodded. (Yeah. Good idea.)

"You heading over Marco's tonight?" I asked Jake, once we had finished dinner and were helping our parents with the clean up process.

He shook his head. "He and his dad are seeing a movie."

"That's cool."

His dad had recently started dating-seriously dating-Marco's math teacher, which would have been great for everyone, except for the fact that Marco's mom was probably still alive. Host body to Visser One, but still, alive. Well, maybe. On a recent mission, she'd taken a fall, but we'd never actually recovered her body. Given this, it was kind of hard to be genuinely happy when Marco's dad and Nora had their wedding, but it wasn't like anyone could tell him that his real wife was alive, just the slave to an alien parasite.

At least, Marco's dad was making an effort not to make Marco feel left out. He and Nora were probably still on the honeymoon period of their relationship, so taking the time to see a movie with his son was a good fatherly move.

Not that I had much experience in that area, but I liked to think I knew good parental moves when I saw them.

"You got any plans?"

I shrugged. "Homework's done for the weekend, and I don't have a Sharing meeting until next week. I'm pretty much free, if you want to hang out."

The truth was, there was almost nothing that I'd rather do than spend the evening hanging out with Jake. However, he might have had enough of me earlier, and I didn't want to seem like I was hovering over him, crowding him.

I felt Aftran hug me, gently, as I thought this. Her wordless reassurance that I was doing the right thing, whatever that meant for the situation.

"There's an old movie on tonight, if you kids are interested," Dad spoke up. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

"Oh, I've seen that!" Mom piped up. "Let's all watch it. I'll make popcorn."

Jake and I exchanged looks that could best be described in words as "no way!"

We were, after all, living through our own alien invasion.

"You guys have fun," Jake spoke up, giving them his best indulgent teenager smile. The one we used when we thought it was cute that our parents were trying to be cool, but they were far from it. "I think I'll pass."

"Same here," I added. "Besides, I already saw it a couple of years ago. Once was plenty."

Jake avoided my eyes, and suddenly erupted into a coughing fit. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, handing it to him.

It was that, or start pounding him on the back. I was pretty sure the coughing fit was fake, though.

He took a few sips of water, and smiled at me. "Thanks, Tom. Don't know what came over me."

I put an arm around his shoulder, giving him a quick squeeze. "Happy to help, Midget."

Our parents watched the exchange between us with smiles. Clearly, our still newly renewed brotherly affection made up for passing on a movie from their childhood.

The question of how to spend the evening was still up in the air. I felt Aftran nudge at my mind-one of her ways of communicating without using words.

(Yeah?) I asked her, smiling.

(You could suggest playing basketball,) she told me, returning my smile with her own. (It won't be dark outside for at least another hour.)

I considered this. We hadn't played in a couple of weeks, and while I knew I'd never be as good as before my infestation with Temrash, I still enjoyed the game. It was also a good way to work on my reflexes and my reaction time. Thank God, I was improving in that area faster than I had expected, but there were still times that I thought I was slower than I should be for a teenager.

(Not everything is about getting your body back to normal, Tom,) Aftran chided me, a little, pulling me into a mental hug.

(I know,) I admitted. (But, it helps. And, you know...)

(I do,) she reassured me.

"Hey, Jake?" I asked, as he rinsed out the water glass and began to dry it with a towel. "You want to shoot hoops outside? Should be light out for a little longer."

Jake nodded enthusiastically, grinning. "Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

My parents didn't look too disappointed that we had rejected their movie invite. It would probably become a date night for them.

"Have fun!" Dad told us, smiling.

I gave Jake's shoulder a squeeze as we headed outside. As soon as we were in the fresh air, I felt a spark of gratitude towards Aftran for having made the suggestion. The weather was almost perfect outside. Warm, but with a gentle breeze. The scent of nature-something I'd never given much thought to over the last couple of years-was fresh without being overpowering. Even the sounds of nature, like the occasional chirp of a bird, felt a little like music. I marveled, briefly, that I was free to enjoy it once more. That I could go outside if I wanted to, or even just focus my ears without a Yeerk making my body do it. That I could use my eyes to look around, on my own. I'd taken so much for granted before Temrash and Gariss had arrived to steal it from me.

Before I could get too emotional, though, I felt Aftran hugging me, gently. Able to take over, if necessary, but not wanting to do it. Of course, even if she did need to take over my body, just for a minute or so while I got a hold on my emotions, I knew that she'd only use gentle control.

(I'm okay,) I told her, and I meant it.

(All right,) she answered. Tentatively, she added, (If you do want to talk, later...)

I nodded, mentally. I'd taken her up on it, in the past. Vented to her, complained about things that were not her fault, but that only she could understand. My nightmares, my continued necessary trips to the Yeerk Pool and The Sharing. The invasion that threatened the life and freedom of everyone I cared about. I couldn't, really, talk to Jake about these things. Not that he wouldn't understand, but it felt more like it was now my job to listen to him. To be there for him, as the big protective brother.

After all, Jake had so much more on his plate than I did, now.

(Yeah. Maybe,) I replied.

Jake retrieved the ball from this large crate that we kept in the garage. He dribbled it a couple of times against the driveway, testing to see if it needed to be refilled. It had been ages since either of us had played. It bounced back quickly each time, looking okay. Then, Jake took a shot at the basket, and it flew in perfectly. Without thinking, I caught the ball, just after it hit the asphalt from the driveway.

"Nice one, Midget!" I grinned, dribbling the ball a couple of times before taking a shot at the basket. It flew in, and it was a race to grab the ball before Jake could.

We played for awhile, at first in a friendly competition, but later, me helping Jake, giving him some pointers. He didn't stop smiling once, even when he tried-unsuccessfully-to steal the ball from me, just before I was going to take a shot.

"If we weren't playing, that would have earned you a wedgie," I teased.

"Hey, I had to try, Tom," he answered, laughing.

Sure. I rolled my eyes and gave him a punch on the shoulder.

I thought it was a light one, but somehow, it was strong enough that it knocked Jake over. Or, maybe, it had been the way he'd been standing when I'd delivered the blow. All I knew was that, one minute Jake was laughing, and the next, he was on the ground. His right shoulder seemed to take most of the impact.

I crossed the few feet in a near run, then knelt beside Jake. "Midget! Are you okay?" I reached for his right arm, helping him up. I noticed that the fabric of the shirt covering his left shoulder was torn.

Jake looked embarrassed. "Yeah, I'm okay. Guess I'm just clumsy."

"Let me take a look," I pressed.

He didn't argue, just let me push down the shirt around his neck, and study his shoulder. It was bright red, and with some small pieces of broken skin. Probably hurt like hell, even though Jake was acting stoic at the moment. I let go of the shirt as soon as I could tell that it probably wouldn't get infected.

"Am I going to live?" he asked, attempting a joke.

"You'll make it through the night," I answered, "but I'd get rid of that shirt, and definitely clean the cut in the shower. Tonight. You don't want that to get infected." Lest Jake think that he stood a good chance of that, I added, teasingly, "Besides, you need it, after all that running around."

It occurred to me that morphing would probably heal the cut completely, but if Jake was too tired to do that tonight, I wasn't going to push him.

(A shower would probably feel better than morphing, after all that running around,) Aftran consoled me.

I gave her a mental smile in response.

Jake was nodding. "Yeah, I'll do that."

Carefully, I placed an arm around his shoulders. "Maybe, that's enough practice for today? You have gotten pretty good, Midget."

Another nod. "Okay. We'll play again soon, though?"

He looked so hopeful. I just pulled him into a long hug.

"Definitely."

I grabbed the ball from where it had fallen onto the driveway, then headed to the garage and returned to the crate.

Afterwards, I put an arm around Jake's shoulders again. "Hey...Midget? Have fun?"

He sort of leaned into me, at first, then hugged me tightly. "Always, Tom."

Our parents were still watching the bodysnatchers movie, so we tried to head upstairs quietly, without disturbing them. Get suckered into watching the rest of the movie with them.

"I'm gonna take that shower," Jake told me. "Want to hang out, afterwards? I got this new video game we could try."

I nodded, noticing that I had been sweating hard. Well, it was a sign of a good workout. Gariss and Temrash hadn't bothered much with those. Too busy with Sharing meetings. Not that I'd become overweight, but I'd probably gained a few pounds unrelated to a growth spurt since my infestation.

"Sure, sounds fun." I glanced down at myself, grinning. "Think I'll need to shower before that. You go first, though."

"I'll be quick," he promised.

I ran a hand through his hair, gently, thinking that the hot water would be good for his shoulder. "Take your time, Jake," I urged, smiling. "Anyway, Aftran reminded me that I've got some reading to finish for school, and it would be great to have a homework free day tomorrow."

Jake nodded, and disappeared down the hall, to our shared bathroom. I headed into my room, then addressed Aftran.

(Think he's okay?) I asked.

She considered. (Maybe a little sore, but I don't think he's seriously injured, Tom.)

(Yeah. I just hate to think I hurt him. At all.)

We rough housed sometimes, before. Nothing like what other brothers did. I definitely never beat him up, or threatened to. It had always felt cruel, when I saw my friends act that way towards their younger siblings, or when they were the recipient. Jake and I had always been closer than most siblings, and I didn't think our two year age gap had much to do with this. Maybe, I had been more gentle by nature. Or, he had been, and I'd been more of a protector. Not that Jake was the kind of kid bullies picked on, from what I could tell.

Aftran hugged me, hearing to my thoughts. (I'm sure he's fine, Tom. Anyway, once he morphs, any soreness will be gone.)

I closed my eyes, imaging morphing. (That's how it works with injuries?)

(Yes,) Aftran answered, simply. (They wouldn't have lived this long, otherwise. Nor, I imagine, would Elfangor, or Visser Three.)

I winced. I'd only seen the first battle firsthand, having participated in it, going up against Visser Three. But, I'd heard the stories in the cages. Seemed like they'd all been torn apart-physically-at one time or another.

More than once, probably.

Okay. A bruised shoulder was nothing by comparison.

Still. I'd keep an eye on Jake. After all, I'd rather him blame me for being too overprotective than risk coming across as uncaring. Gariss and Temrash had played me like that for way too long. Jake knew they weren't me, but, still.

I had a lot of lost time to make up for.

Even though I thought I'd finished my homework earlier, Aftran had reminded me that we were supposed to finish "The Old Man and the Sea" by Monday, and be prepared for either a paper or a test the following week. When teachers said that, it usually meant an in class essay.

Aftran and I had worked out an arrangement, once I'd caught up to everyone else in my classes. She'd help me with anything related to homework and studying and paying attention in class, but when it came to tests, I was on my own. We both thought it was too close to cheating, since she could access my memory and essentially ensure that I'd receive perfect scores-or nearly that. It wasn't just about how valid my high school (or, eventually, college) degree would be after the war ended with me having been infested almost the entire time. It felt like cheating to have my Yeerk provide me with all of the answers, even if they were already in my memory. Sort of like athletes who took performance enhancing drugs before a competition.

I suspected that, after the war ended, any Controllers who could function without their Yeerks would probably be given an automatic pass under the grounds that they had suffered enough. Or, maybe, be required to sit through the GED, regardless of their grades. If Yeerk infestation was allowed to continue on a voluntary basis after the war, I was sure that Yeerks wouldn't be allowed in test settings. "Put away your Yeerk" would be the new "Put away all of your books". Maybe, desks would be remodeled so that a glass of water would fit inside, where the Yeerk would reside while the student took the test.

For now, this was impossible. Aftran couldn't leave my head during the school day, not without the risk of me attracting attention. There were too many Controllers. There was Chapman. So, she remained with me, helping me out when I didn't understand something, but always remaining quiet when I took a test or quiz. Almost irritatingly so.

She would, however, be willing to take control of my body if I started to panic. That happened the first time. Aftran would hold me in our mental space, make me breathe normally, slow down my heart rate until it didn't feel like it was going to explode. After a few minutes, I hadn't needed her help, and answered all of the questions on the test without much difficulty. On my own, I'd gotten a B. It had felt like a huge accomplishment.

Now, we read together. Sometimes, she'd read to me, especially if I seemed to be reading the same sentence ten times without understanding it. Maybe, I'd always been more of an auditory learner than a visual one. Or, hearing her voice in my head made it easier to understand what was being said. At least to my teenage mind, Hemingway was very obscure.

We'd just finished reading the last page when Jake arrived. His hair was still damp from the shower, and he had on pajamas that Mom had bought him last year for his birthday. Either she'd misread the size, or had been anticipating a growth spurt, because they looked a little big on him, almost giving my brother a young appearance. Mom had offered to return them, but Jake had shook his head, saying that he'd either grow into them, or they might end up shrinking in the wash at some point.

Gariss, playing me, had teased him, telling Jake that he looked even more like a midget in them. It had been the same thing I would have told him, but he must have known it was a Yeerk, and he hadn't worn them much, since.

Seeing Jake wearing them, I almost gave him a hug, until I remembered that he was clean from his shower, while I was still a sweaty mess. I settled for grinning at him.

"They're still kind of big on you, Midget," I observed. "But, it's not a bad look."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, well. Nothing else was clean."

I nodded. Mom usually did laundry on Sunday or Monday.

"Gotcha. Well, I'll see you in a little. Hemingway's on my desk, in case you want to see what kind of horror you're in for in eleventh grade," I offered.

He laughed. "We read one of his short stories earlier this year. It was rough."

"Ouch." I squeezed his shoulder-gently, this time-and headed out the door, grabbing a pair of my pajamas on the way.

Showering with a Yeerk had never been a pleasant experience under Temrash or Gariss, but I imagined that I had it pretty easy compared to females (especially teenagers) with Yeerks. They had to deal with periods, for one thing, and I was pretty sure that at least half the girls in my grade were perpetually on a diet. The kind of damage a Yeerk could do to a teenage girl's body image, especially seeing them at their most vulnerable, had to make anything Gariss or Temrash say about me seem nonexistent. Not that it had felt that way, at the time. It still felt like a huge violation, them seeing me like that. Of course, by the time Gariss had come around, I had been too broken-had given up-to care much about social norms.

I knew that Yeerks didn't have genders the way humans did, but Aftran had always thought of herself as female, and that was how I saw her. All of her hosts had been female, for one thing, and her voice sounded feminine. If she ever got a human morph from a mix of the others, I knew that it would be female. So, having a female seeing me naked in the shower, or going to the bathroom, should have felt even more awkward than when Temrash and Gariss experienced this. Except, for whatever reason, it didn't. Not that I had a crush on my Yeerk or anything, but, somehow, Aftran felt more like a caretaker, especially in this role. Besides, most of the time, she remained at a respectful distance, not taking over or making comments as I went to the bathroom or cleaned myself up. It eased whatever awkwardness existed between us, in this bizarre situation.

Today, probably because of the exercise, and being away from her for the second time that week, I felt more tired than I had expected when I entered the shower. So, when Aftran offered to take over, using gentle control, I readily agreed.

Aftran squirted a portion of shampoo into my hands, then onto my head, closing my eyes in the process. Carefully, slowly, she worked it into my scalp, giving it a nice, long massage. I let out an audible and mental sigh. If she hadn't closed my eyes already, I would have done that. It was kind of funny, really, because it was still my hands doing the work, but it felt different with Aftran being the one to control them. Relaxing.

Maybe, I shouldn't have been surprised. Aftran had taken gentle control on a regular basis, with similar results. Didn't she tuck me in, every night? Of course, this was definitely more revealing than that.

Anyway, she finished cleaning me up in the shower, and then dried me off, dressing me in the pajamas I'd selected.

(Thank you,) I told her.

(You're welcome,) she answered.

(That was nice, Aftran. Maybe, you can do it again? Like, if I'm tired?) I asked, feeling almost shy.

(Of course, honey,) she reassured me, smiling at me.

Smiling, I headed back to my room. Jake was laying on my bed, propped up on his arms, reading one of my comic books. I took a seat next to him, smoothing out his hair.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hey, yourself," I laughed. Nodding my head at the comic, I asked, "Which one is that?"

"Which one is that?" I asked, peering over his shoulders.

"Batman," he answered, turning it around to show me. "Read it before, but it's fun to reread them."

"Fun." I glanced at him, noticing that he hadn't really moved much. How his arms seemed unnaturally rigid. "That can't be comfortable?"

Jake shrugged. "I read like that all the time. When I'm not sitting, or lying on my back in bed."

Uh huh.

"How's your shoulder?"

He looked at me, a little startled. "My shoulder?"

I studied him. "Yeah, Midget. The one I punched, earlier? That you fell on?"

He sort of reddened. "Oh. It's fine, Tom."

Sure.

"Great. Can I see it?" I asked, gently.

"Well, it's a little sore," Jake admitted. "But, if it's not okay tomorrow, it will be back to normal the next time I morph. And it's really not too bad, now."

"Midget." I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on. Let me be your overprotective big brother?"

He returned my eye roll, but he returned to a sitting position, and moved the fabric of his pajama top so that it exposed his right shoulder. It was a little pink, but not angry red, or purple. I put my fingers around it, checking for bruising, the way Mom used to when we were kids and one of us would hurt ourselves. He didn't react too badly to my tests, but I also couldn't see Jake's face, so he might have been hiding a flinch. After a minute or so, I gave Jake my evaluation.

"Well, I think you'll survive the night," I told him. "That being said, how about a back rub? Could help you sleep easier."

Jake looked up at me, again. I recognized the expression in his face. Hopeful, but at the same time, needing to be taken seriously. Specifically, not wanting to be babied, for fear I'd think less of him.

If only he knew.

"Tom. You don't need to-to baby me. I'm fine, really" he answered, as he studied the covers.

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. Protectively. "I know you'll be okay," I murmured. "But...humor me. Let me be the overprotective big brother, tonight. All right?"

Jake sighed a little, but nodded. Gently, I turned him so that he was laying on his stomach, with his head propped up against a couple of my pillows.

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah."

I placed my hands together, on the top of his neck, just below the ends of his hair. "So, I'll start here. If anything starts to hurt, let me know, okay? Don't tough it out. Promise?"

"I promise," he agreed, closing his eyes.

(If your arms get tired, I can take over,) Aftran offered, as I began.

(You ever done this, before?) I wondered, moving my hands around Jake's neck in a circular motion. Slowly, carefully.

(Well, no,) she admitted, (but I have your knowledge, and can go by what you're doing.)

I considered this. (Think Jake would mind?)

I could feel her consider this. (I'm not sure.) A pause. (He might. Better ask him, first, if it comes down to that.)

(It might not be the worst way to introduce the subject of putting you in his head,) I joked. (Or not.)

(Definitely not,) Aftran agreed, making a face.

I spent a few minutes working on his neck, just in case there was any pain that had crept in there.

I'd remembered pulling muscles in sports before, and sometimes, there was soreness beyond the immediate area where I'd pulled something. Judging by his reaction, Jake didn't seem to be experiencing any pain right now. Far from it, actually. I could hear his breathing slowing down, and he made occasional contented sighs. I smiled to myself, glad he was enjoying this. After a few minutes, very carefully, I approached his shoulders, taking extra care with the right one. I noticed that the contented sounds he'd been making stopped. While I couldn't see Jake wincing or writhing around in pain, I wasn't entirely certain he'd keep his promise not to tough it out.

"Jake? You still okay?" I prodded, all while keeping my touch gentle, but even, away from the immediate bruised area.

"Yeah," he mumbled, after a minute or so. He turned his head a little towards me, and his eyes were closed, his face completely relaxed. "It feels good, Tom."

"Good." A sense of relief filled me, as well as pride. That I was helping Jake, that I was able to do this for him. Be the big brother, and all that. "Just let me know if anything starts to hurt."

"Okay," he promised, again. "It doesn't, though."

Moments passed, with my focus entirely on my younger brother. I observed how his breathing became steady, and was happy to see that Jake seemed to relax completely after several minutes. The little sighs returned, and after another inspection of his once sore shoulder, I thought that the pain was probably gone. Oddly enough, I felt, almost, like I was in some kind of trance. I became aware that my hands were starting to fall asleep, and a look at Jake told me that he might have fallen asleep.

"Jake?" I whispered, letting my hands go still.

He didn't reply, immediately. Then, "Oh, you say something?"

I smiled inwardly at Aftran-she laughed, gently. "Just checking that you were still awake."

He turned on his side without flinching. "Yeah." Then, he added, "Thanks, Tom."

I moved a piece of hair around his ear, then glanced at the clock on the table. A little after 9. "It's not too late, but maybe, we can skip the video game for tonight?" I suggested.

"Sounds good." He made as though to get up. Gently, I put a hand on his shoulder, then pulled back the covers and guided Jake under them.

"You're already half asleep, Midget," I reassured him. "I won't be cruel and kick you out."

He gave me a sleepy smile, then stopped, making again as though to get up. "But, I didn't brush my teeth."

I turned out the light on my bedside table, then joined Jake under the blankets, wrapping my arms around him in a bear hug. "One night's not gonna kill you."

"Yeah. Guess not," he agreed, nestling himself against me. A moment later, Jake added, "Thanks, Tom."

"Any time, Midget," I promised, hugging Jake even tighter.

(Ready to tuck me in?) I asked Aftran, yawning.

(There's two of you, this time,) she observed, as she took over. (Should I ask Jake what he wants?)

I snickered inside of my head. (Only if you can make it so that you're speaking into his head, as well as mine.)

(Fair enough,) Aftran replied, smiling at me. She finished tucking us in, and I felt Jake rest himself against my shoulder, noticing that his bruised shoulder-hopefully, not for much longer-pressed up against mine. I still had Jake in a bear hug. With the sheets and blankets tucked firmly around us, thanks to Aftran's work, we must have looked like to giant caterpillars, instead of just one.

"Midget? You comfortable?" I asked, as his head now rested just beneath mine.

"Mmm hmm," he breathed.

(I'll take that as a yes,) I told Aftran, who laughed, nodding at me.

Even Jake fall asleep, I knew it would take me longer. As comfortable as I felt in the bed, safe sharing the same mental space as my Yeerk, I wasn't exactly tired. Or, not tired enough to fall asleep. I didn't want to risk waking Jake up to get out of bed, especially since I didn't feel especially awake. For a few minutes, I focused on my senses. I could hardly see anything in the dark, and besides, my head was facing the wall. Normally, I slept with my back to the wall, but Jake had "claimed" that spot, and I hadn't wanted to move him out of the way. Not when he was so comfortable. It was not unlike when we caught Homer sleeping on the middle of the couch downstairs, or in one of our beds. He looked so peaceful, it seemed heartless to wake him up. Never mind the fact that he got way more sleep than Jake or I did. Especially Jake. I had Aftran to calm me down when the nightmares came, but he would just endure it. Even though I'd told him he could come find me, I didn't think he ever would. Jake was too used to dealing with everything by himself. I gave him a squeeze, and his head toppled over again, onto my chest. Gently, I moved his head so that his face wouldn't be pressed against my PJs. Not that he'd die that way, but it couldn't possibly be a comfortable way to sleep. Listening closely, I could hear the sounds of the TV downstairs, so my parents were either still watching the movie, or something else.

I'd once thought that Jake was lucky not to know about the Yeerks. Little had I known that he was leading the resistance against them. Now, though, I thought that my parents were the lucky ones. They weren't infested, and as long as they didn't join The Sharing and there was no open invasion, they'd probably stay free. Not that all infestation was bad-Aftran was one of the good ones-but you could never know what kind of Yeerk you'd get when you joined. Rumor had it that voluntary hosts got the nicer Yeerks, except, really, even people the Yeerks thought would be voluntary could end up changing their minds at the last minute. I had been present at some infestations, early on with Temrash, because he'd tried to recruit all of my friends who weren't already full members. He'd succeeded in at least half of them. Most of the people he'd recruited had gone the voluntary route, and I'd been there at a couple of the infestations. He had explained that there were a couple of Yeerks ready for voluntary members, and other Yeerks for involuntary ones. The Yeerks for involuntary hosts were, as he and Gariss had been, much crueler.

Thinking of my parents going through that suddenly sent a wave of panic through me, and Aftran had to take over-only using gentle control, I knew-before I started to scream, or, almost as bad, cry. Either would have awoken Jake, and possibly my parents. So, I didn't resist as Aftran pressed down, gently, on the part of my brain that controlled my motor functions. She took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm me down before speaking to me.

(It's okay, Tom. They're safe,) she reassured me, her voice taking on that gentle tone she used when I woke up from a nightmare, or had a near panic attack.

(For now,) I whispered.

She paused, just for a second, before replying. (Yes.)

Aftran dropped her loose control entirely, and I reached out for her in my mind. She hugged me, tightly.

A few minutes later, I spoke again. (Aftran? Am I getting worse?)

(No.) Her voice was firm. Certain. (You've had a difficult week, that's all. You're so much stronger than when I first came to live with you, Tom.)

(You're sure?) I persisted.

(I'm sure.) She hugged me even tighter, and a part of me was glad that mental hugs weren't like physical hugs. You didn't risk running out of air with them. (At the beginning, you were a mess. Oh, you could walk and speak on your own, which was no small thing, given how long you'd been a host, and how cruel those dapsens were to you. All the same, though, I could tell that, whenever we weren't alone or only with Jake, I would need to be...) Aftran hesitated, searching for the right word. (Diligent. That you seemed normal, at all times, and that meant being ready to take control at a moment's notice. And not just gentle control, either.)

(I remember,) I answered. Managing a mental smile, I added, self deprecatingly, (You were pretty patient with me.)

Aftran laughed. (So were you, Tom! My experience with human hosts were a small child who felt sorry for me, and an Animorph who convinced me to free this child. Then, she wanted to remain my host,) Aftran added, still laughing at the absurdity of this. (Karen was so young, and I did my best to keep her from being too traumatized, even as I stole away her freedom. Cassie...was different. And, then, there was you.)

(I was broken,) I remembered.

Sometimes, I still felt that way.

(You were broken,) Aftran agreed. (But you weren't shattered.)

I frowned-visibly. (Huh?)

(A broken host has given up. Has been crushed by their Yeerk, or Yeerks. By their cruelty,) Aftran began, her voice taking on a solemn tone, and she hugged me still tighter. (Even so, they're not gone. They still exist in their head. They can come back from this state. Over time. From what I learned in the Peace Movement, this can take days. Weeks. Months. Maybe, even, years. But there's always improvement, no matter how small, within the first feeding period. At the latest, by the end of the first week.)

(And shattered?) I asked her.

(The mind's gone,) Aftran replied, simply. (It's not simply that the host has lost the will to fight, that he or she has accepted defeat. They have been crushed so completely by their Yeerk or Yeerks that, without a Yeerk, the host would die within a day. They cannot do anything on their own. They can't even think on their own. It's like being in a coma, except they cannot be woken up.)

It sounded believable to me. I'd been a slave to the Yeerk empire long enough to see people who had given up. Maybe not to the extent that they were in comas without Yeerks, but pretty close.

(How do they manage when their Yeerk feeds?) I asked her. (Does another Yeerk infest them?)

Aftran shook her head. (Involuntary bodily functions, like breathing and blinking, remain operational. But they can't eat or drink without a Yeerk to do it for them. Even if you put a glass of water right in front of them, they wouldn't be able to do anything. Well,) she allowed, (perhaps, if you put it to their lips...) She shrugged, again. (I'd only seen one. Back when I had a Hork-Bajir. My superior boasted that his host body had been shattered before he came along. I think, but I'm not sure, that it's more common for Hork-Bajir to become shattered than humans.)

It was my turn to nod, but only in my head. With Jake still sleeping on top of me, I didn't want to risk moving and disturbing him.

(I'm sorry, Tom,) Aftran told me, smiling a little sadly. (I shouldn't have told you all of this. Especially right before bed. I wouldn't be surprised if you experience nightmares, tonight.)

(It's okay. I wanted to know,) I answered. (Anyway, Aftran, you're my Yeerk, now. I know you won't hurt me.)

I wouldn't have been so certain about this when Aftran first entered my head. Oh, I'd known that she'd joined the Peace Movement and would have died for it-according to Cassie-but that didn't mean she wouldn't resort to insulting me or giving into the urge to play back a bad memory when I had ticked her off.

Except, I soon realized, it did mean that. Aftran wouldn't hurt me any more than she would hurt Cassie. Not intentionally, anyway.

(No, Tom, I won't,) she promised, gently.

We were quiet for several minutes. Her still holding me, me still laying in bed, not tired enough to sleep, but slowly getting there. Happy for the company that Aftran provided me.

(Hey, Aftran?) I asked.

(Yes, Tom?) she answered, even though she knew what I was going to say.

(How come it is that I can't, you know, hug you? In my mind? Seems like I have to reach out for it...) I trailed off, uncertain how to state what I'd begun to notice recently.

(Ah, so you've noticed,) Aftran observed. (It's because, being a Yeerk, I have more natural control over that part of your brain.)

(But it's more than just releasing endorphins, isn't it? I feel like I'm being hugged. Like now,) I pressed.

(Yes, it's an area of your mind I can control, as a Yeerk. It's one of those functions a Yeerk has control over that a human doesn't,) Aftran tried to explain. (But, to make a comparison...) She hesitated.

(Yeah?)

(Well, imagine that you're a cat, and I'm a human,) Aftran began.

I had to struggle not to laugh out loud.

(Okay,) Aftran amended. (It's after the war, you're morph capable, and so I am. Better?)

(Yeah,) I relented.

(You're in a cat morph, and I'm in a human morph,) Aftran continued, smiling. (Neither of us are nothlits, we're simply in these morphs, well under the two hour time limit.)

(Gotcha. You're saying that, when you're in your human morph, you can pick me up and hug me, because I'm smaller, but I can't really do it as well on my own, because of the body I'm in?) I determined.

(Yes. Except, in this case, it's different minds instead of bodies. Your mind, being a host's mind, can receive signals from the Yeerk, once the Yeerk opts to send them. You're a receiver, I'm a controller,) Aftran expanded.

(Hey,) I teased. (I thought I was the Controller.)

Aftran giggled. (Well, you are. But, in this case, I am. Because I can control that part of your mind.)

(All of it, really,) I pointed out.

(Technically. Well, really, closer to 85% of it. According to what our scientists have determined. Your mind retains at least 5% of it, what with being able to think on your own, and then there's around 10% that remains unreachable,) explained my Yeerk.

I rolled my eyes. (That's not something you want the higher up human scientists to learn. We've been taught that we only use a small percentage of our brain. If you Yeerks go around saying that you can tap into nearly all of it, you might not have to invade the planet. Everyone will be infested, maybe even at birth, "for our own good".)

(Don't worry. That's hardly an advertising point used at The Sharing,) Aftran reassured me. (Besides, Peace Movement Yeerks like me believe that number is highly inflated, and dependent on a symbiotic relationship between a Yeerk and their host. Hardly what the empire has in mind.)

(Yeah. Imagine where we'd be if all Yeerks became friends with their hosts,) I teased.

(The horror.) Aftran laughed. (They might help us, and we could help them. Hardly a productive parasitic relationship for the great Yeerk empire.)

I yawned, then, slowly maneuvering myself so I was laying on my side, but not disturbing the midget's sleep. Except for a single snore, which was probably unrelated to anything I did. I managed not to laugh, because in all likelihood, I'd snored a couple of times in my life.

(You're starting to become tired,) Aftran murmured, lowering her voice for my benefit. (Anything I can do to help you sleep?)

I felt my eyelids become heavy. I was pretty sure I didn't need music to fall asleep tonight, or a good memory. (Just keep talking...and holding me,) I mumbled.

(Of course. I can do that,) she assured me, still speaking softly.

The next thing I knew, it was morning, and Aftran was still holding me.

(Good morning,) she greeted.

(Morning,) I answered.

Jake was still curled up against me. With his face turned away from me, I couldn't make out his expression, but based on previous experiences, it was probably peaceful and made him look at least five years younger.

Then again, maybe we all looked younger when we were asleep.

(Think we should ask him?) I wondered. (Not as soon as he wakes up, but today?)

She shrugged. (Let's take it slowly. There's no need to hurry things along, especially if we want Jake to be receptive to the idea.)

I nodded, stroking Jake's hair, almost absentmindedly. I propped myself into a sitting position, careful not to disturb Jake. Somehow, this made Aftran laugh.

(What?) I asked, not being privy to her thoughts.

(Karen's family owned a ginger cat named Lily,) Aftran explained. (A very large cat, who probably needed to lose a couple of pounds. It was nearly as old as Karen, and the two of them slept in the same bed for as long as she could remember. Even though house cats sleep at least two times longer than humans each day, her entire family regarded any disturbance in Lily's sleep as almost as horrible as murdering the feline.) Aftran rolled her eyes at me. (This creature, of course, was well aware of the way the humans treated her. Whenever she fell asleep on one of their laps, including Karen's, the humans became incapable of movement until the feline deigned herself ready to move. As I was playing Karen, I had to obey the cat's whims.)

I snickered. (What did this cat look like?)

Aftran sent me an image of a somewhat overweight, rather grouchy looking cat. While I was definitely more of a dog person, I couldn't resist a mental "aww!" at the picture.

(Sorry, Aftran, but that cat's the real ruler of the family,) I told her. (Whatever she wants, she gets.)

(Including my host's body whenever she wanted it,) Aftran returned, rolling her eyes at me. (Although, Karen's mind was always very happy when the feline perched herself on her, so I was grateful for that reason.) She softened. (Now, of course, I would have been much kinder to both, in my thoughts. I never tortured Karen, nor threatened to. But, I could have been much more gentle with her.)

I pulled the blankets around myself more tightly. (Maybe, you'll see her again, someday.)

She nodded. (I hope so.)

Jake chose that moment to open his eyes, then stretch. I turned towards him, smiling.

"Morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?" I asked.

He gave me a sleepy, but contented, smile. "Pretty good."

"Shoulder okay?"

He nodded. "Good as new. Thanks, Tom."

I tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. "Glad to hear it. Still tired?"

"A little," he admitted.

"Yeah. Same here," I told him.

Jake sort of leaned towards me, and I wrapped my arms around him. "How's that?"

"Good," he yawned.

We remained like that for a few minutes. Jake broke the silence.

"Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For last night."

I turned my head towards him, smiling. "Which part? Basketball? Injuring you? The back rub?"

Jake made a face. "Not the injuring me part, if you could call it that."

"I do," I answered. "Midget, you could hardly move your shoulder."

He shrugged. "Well, yeah. Anyway, I meant both...but the back rub. It helped."

I smiled at him. "Any time, Midget."

Jake sort of laughed, obviously thinking I was joking. "Yeah. Okay."

I sent Aftran a mental eye roll. Okay, I'd have to spell it out for my brother. "Okay, not any time. How about once a week? Maybe twice, if you've had a battle, or, you know, just had a really hard week?"

Jake blinked at me. "You're serious?"

This time, I did roll my eyes at him. "You risk your life fighting the Yeerks on the regular. You've gone up against Visser Three and survived more times than anyone else I've known. Oh, and you saved me. Yes, Jake, I'm being serious."

He didn't answer right away. When he did, his voice was kind of...not broken, but almost hoarse.

"You don't need to, Tom. You don't-you don't owe me anything."

I sighed, and sat up just enough to give him a bear hug. "Jake. When are you going to get it through your smart, yet somehow incredibly thick skull that I want to help you? If you have a nightmare, if you want to talk or vent...yes, if you are just having a really rough day and want to relax. I am here for you. Okay?"

"Okay." His voice was small, but his hold on me tightened.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. I should have been happy, or at least relieved. But, mostly, I guessed I was wondering why Jake couldn't...not trust me, exactly, but, maybe, not believe me?

We sat up in bed. Jake was sort of not looking at me. I felt like I had hurt him, instead of the other way around.

"Midget?" I urged. "Come on. You can talk to me."

Jake finally met my eyes. He moved, a little, away from the hug. I gave a sort of nod, letting him go. It took a minute or so, but he began to talk.

"It's-it's not your fault, Tom," he reassured me. "Just that...the last couple of years, and when you started going to The Sharing. Even before I knew about the Yeerks, it was like we weren't close anymore. It's why I tried out for the basketball team. I thought that, you know, if I had your old spot..."

I didn't speak, just wrapped an arm around my kid brother's shoulder. Not wanting to restrain him, just letting him know I was there. Jake let me. "Jake. You're right. I'm sorry. I was a jerk. I guess you know why I joined The Sharing? From Temrash's memory dump at the end?"

He nodded. "You liked a girl who was a member."

"Yeah." I sort of sighed. "And I had complete tunnel vision, and pretty much shut you out because I was so obsessed with her. By the time I knew what was going on...anyway, I'm sorry. You're right."

"It's not-" he began, then took a deep breath "I'm not angry at you, Tom. I-"

Poor kid.

"I get it. Really." I just hugged him, again. Whatever the world record for the most hugs given to a person in one day was, if this kept up, Jake and I were sure to break it. Not that I minded. "It's going to take time to be completely open, right? Because of everything that's happened."

"Also," Jake added, sort of tentatively, nodding, "I mean, I'm worried about you."

"Because I still get nightmares and have to have my body taken from me at the Yeerk Pool?" I asked, carefully.

Another nod. "I don't want to add to it, Tom."

"Jake, remember what I said a few days ago? When I told you to come and get me if you had a nightmare?" Jake bobbed his head up and down. "Same thing applies with talking, okay? I have Aftran to help me. Right now, life is going to be pretty hard for both of us. Until we destroy the Yeerk empire, until the Andalites take over...whatever happens. The thing is, now we have each other. Now, I'm not a slave to some empire Yeerk. Whatever either of us is going through, whatever PTSD or whatever, we need to have someone to talk to. I have Aftran. You, Midget, have me. Okay?"

"Okay," he mumbled. "I'll try."

I guessed he finally realized that I was being serious. Good.

I gave Jake a light nudge. "I'm holding you to that." Then, I paused, realizing that there might be stuff Jake wasn't ready to talk about. "I mean, I'm not going to, like, lock you in your room until you tell me everything that's on your mind. I get that you want some privacy. Just...talk to me. Don't keep it in. I'm your big brother, you know? I want to be there for you, and I can't do that if you won't let me."

Jake looked a little relieved by that. "Thanks, Tom."

"No problem." I yawned. "Now, I'm tired. Let's say we get a couple more hours of sleep, okay?"

"Sounds good."

(I'm proud of you, Tom,) Aftran murmured.

(Thanks, Aftran.)

We both lay back down, and I wrapped Jake in a bear hug. Before long, he was asleep, and before too long, so was I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some might complain that this chapter was mostly fluff or filler, but as it relates to the ongoing theme of this story, and the series as a whole, it's not only necessary for the development of the characters, but arguably essential to the whole work. 
> 
> When I did a word count of these two chapters, Tom's is about twice as long as Jake's. Even though they cover the same amount of time, Aftran being a necessary third character brings a lot to the story. Moreover, while a couple of scenes with Jake and Tom--as told by Jake--simply end, Tom has a lot more going on, and his dialogue with Aftran continues. It's still a very real fear that his parents will be infested, likely by force, at some point during the war. He's also terrified that Jake and the others will be captured and taken to Visser Three. 
> 
> In a certain sense, his life is a lot more complicated now that he's free and with Aftran. He knows a lot more about the real danger that Jake is in than he did when he was a helpless prisoner in his mind. Not that he would want to go back to the other way, but this presents a lot of internal conflict.
> 
> As Tom tells Jake at the end of the chapter, he has Aftran to help him. Tom views his role as a big brother to Jake is to be there with emotional support and information. Talking about the trauma he has faced is something he will do with Aftran--not Jake. Or, at least, not at this point.


	4. Chapter 4

It was around 8 when I woke up to my stomach grumbling. I didn't have the heart to wake Jake, so I figured I'd give it some time to see if he woke up soon.

(You're a good brother,) Aftran praised.

I smiled at her. (He's my only little brother, you know.)

Aftran hugged me. (And your only brother.)

(Yeah, that too.)

We didn't have to wait long. Jake rolled over on his side, eyes opening slowly.

"Hey," I greeted. "Sleep well?"

Jake nodded, smiling at me. "Yeah."

His stomach growled, then, and I had to give him a little nudge. Nothing painful, just a little poke in the side.

"Hungry?" I teased.

"You couldn't tell?" he laughed, self deprecating.

"Yeah, me too," I admitted. "I didn't want to wake you up, though..."

"Thanks. You didn't wait too long, did you?" Jake asked, sincerely.

As though afraid that I'd pass out if I waited too long for him.

"Naw, maybe five minutes." I ran a hand through his hair. "Anyway, I wasn't going to starve, either way."

Jake might be running the only resistance against the Yeerk empire, but in so many ways, he was still a kid. A great kid, of course, but a kid.

(He loves you, honey. He looks up to you,) Aftran murmured.

(Goes both ways,) I responded.

Aftran seemed like she wanted to say more, but she didn't.

Anyway, Jake looked relieved, and we got out of bed, ready to refuel.

I laughed, making my way out of the bed. "You know," I mused, "you're almost as tall as me. I might need to stop calling you midget if that happens."

Jake laughed at my observation. "I don't mind," he reassured me. "You can go call me that, even when I'm a foot taller than you."

Another laugh on my end. I wrapped an arm around Jake's shoulder. "Oh, you might not be a midget anymore, but you're never going to be a foot taller than me."

"Yeah, maybe," Jake relented. He paused, his hand at the door. "Does Aftran ever call you anything? Like, a nickname?"

I knew what he meant. "She calls me 'honey' sometimes. But nothing super creative, like 'midget'," I answered. Knowing that Aftran could hear me, I added, "Not sure Yeerks are very creative that way. Even the good ones."

(Hey!) Aftran protested, laughing.

(In all fairness, it would probably be a crime of host sympathy,) I allowed.

She shrugged. (Rumor has it that in the pool in the home world, there was less of that. More terms of affection. Some of the older Yeerks might know, but I was born well after the empire was formed.)

(Kind of like being displaced from your homeland,) I reflected.

(Yes. It's part of the reason the empire wants to defeat the Andalites, and in that respect, I cannot disagree. Of course, I'd rather we experience some kind of peace that allows us to return home, while not being exiled there,) Aftran admitted.

Before I could say anything, I noticed Jake staring at me.

"Tom? You coming?" he asked me, standing in the doorway.

"Sorry. Got distracted," I explained, pointing to my head.

He nodded, knowingly, and we headed downstairs.

Breakfast during the weekends consisted mostly of whatever you found in the cabinets or the fridge before Mom went shopping the following week day. She would tell us that we actually ran out of something edible before then, she'd make a stop at the market, but I could never remember this happening.

Aftran and I scanned the cereal boxes before deciding on Frosted Flakes, and Jake with honey nut Cheerios. After drowning our cereal in milk, we sat down to eat. My parents were already at the table, eating toast and drinking coffee, and reading the newspaper.

"Morning, kids," Mom greeted, looking up at us as we sat down.

"Hey," answered Jake, grinning. "How was the movie?"

Dad looked up from his paper, smiling widely. "Oh, you kids missed a real classic."

"I don't know, Dad," I retorted, stirring my cereal. "I'm sure those special effects were pretty good for the dark ages, but I'd have a hard time suspending disbelief if I saw them today."

"Now, young man, I'll have you know that I'm not that old," Dad answered, mock seriously. "I'm from the Renaissance, at least."

Jake groaned. "Sure. You were around when dinosaurs walked the planet."

He looked way too amused by this comment, and since Jake wasn't Marco, I figured that this was mission/battle related.

Well, since I had more or less succeeded in getting him to talk to me, maybe I could find out the story behind that.

After breakfast, Mom was heading out to teach a creative writing class at the local college, and Dad had a patient he wanted to check up on. He rarely performed house calls, but based on how everything had gone on Friday, and at the request of the kid's parents, he wanted to be extra careful.

"Try not to burn the house down while we're away," Dad joked, starting up the car.

"I thought you were a kid when they discovered fire," Jake shot back, grinning.

Dad just laughed, and waved goodbye as his car disappeared down the driveway.

"Nice one." I grinned at Jake. "Kind of a Marco joke, but nearly not as bad."

He returned my smile. "Thanks. They're not all bad, you know. Just enough of them."

"I'll take your word on that." We headed back inside. "We never did get a chance to try out that video game last night. You up for it?"

"Definitely!"

Jake set up the video game on the computer in his room, while I took a seat against his bed on the floor. Once finished, he handed me the console, and pressed play.

I let out a good natured groan. "Aliens flying spaceships, Midget? Really?"

"At least they aren't little green men," he pointed out.

"No, they're little red men flying green spaceships!" I snickered.

Even so, like most video games, it's addictive. Jake and I played several rounds against each other before Aftran spoke up again in my head.

(Can I try?) she asked, almost shyly.

(Sure. I'll let Jake know it's you.)

"Hey, Jake? Aftran wants to play you," I told him.

He nodded, a little, looking a little surprised. "You'll still be able to..."

"Yeah, don't worry," I confirmed, squeezing his hand.

I felt Aftran do just that, not imprisoning me in my mind, but fully aware that she's now using my body. Sometimes, like when she tucked me in at night, it could be relaxing. Like a parent or older relative helping you, guiding you, when you were too tired to make your body move on its own.

Not that it was like that now. Still. I was content to settle back inside my head, feeling safe under Aftran's loose control, as I watched as she fight's Jake's space men with more precision than I can.

(It's not you,) she reassured me, before I could worry about this. (Or, not your reflexes. I've been watching in your head all this time, learning alongside you.)

(Thank you,) I answered.

She knew me so well. Sure, I'd had two Yeerks who'd known me just as well, but they'd always used their knowledge of me to hurt me.

Not Aftran.

After a few consecutive wins on Aftran's part, Jake put down his console and smiled sheepishly at me/her.

"You're good, Aftran. Better than me," Jake admitted.

She laughed, a little. "I had the advantage of watching your brother play and feeling him play before taking my turn," she explained.

He nodded. "Extra practice before the big game, huh?"

"Essentially," Aftran conceded.

Jake watched Aftran for a minute, not saying anything, just observing her. "Is it weird for you, when you're not in control?"

Aftran shook my head. "I thought it would be, especially when Cassie let me back in her head. Before you were able to rescue Tom. We-Cassie and I-shared control, at times, but mostly, I sat back inside her mind. There's a Yeerk instinct that tells us to take control, especially when we infest a new host for the first time. Some members of the Peace Movement believe it's evolutionary, since we coevolved with the Gedds, and I've never seen a Gedd attempt to fight when their Yeerk left their head." Aftran didn't say anything else right away, letting that sink in for Jake.

"You were never at the home world," he pointed out, and I noticed his shoulders tense.

(Careful,) I murmured, more to myself than my Yeerk.

(I know,) she answered, gently. Then, (Thank you, Tom.)

Aftran nodded. "That's true. However, I've heard the stories of when Prince Seerow first encountered our kind. Even if they were revised by the empire, I can't believe that he would have given our race the technology to travel to other worlds if he witnessed our hosts in distress. Our elders, those born on the home world, claim that we had no physical restraints on our Gedd hosts. Moreover, the concept of breaking a host's mind wasn't even around until after the Quantum Virus was released. While our relationship with our Gedd hosts couldn't be truly symbiotic, it likely wasn't parasitic." After a pause, Aftran added, "My own Gedd, my first host, was very much used to a Yeerk's presence before I infested him, and his memory indicated that he hadn't suffered any mistreatment."

It seemed to be Jake's turn to nod. At least, he didn't argue with Aftran. Probably, this was the first he'd heard-or given much thought-to how Yeerks had treated their hosts before the Andalites came around. To be honest, it hadn't been something I'd given much consideration to, except to wish desperately that the Yeerks had never evolved or encountered the Andalites in the first place.

(Probably something most involuntary hosts wish for,) Aftran murmured.

(Yeah, well. Not anymore. With you, anyhow,) I returned.

I took back control, then, scooting over closer to Jake. "Hey. It's me, again." After a brief pause, I added, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just thinking." He grinned at me. "A first, I know."

I rolled my eyes. "You've been spending way too much time with Marco."

"Tom, you know we've always been best friends," he retorted.

"Then, his sense of humor has gotten worse over the years, and it's rubbed off on you," I teased.

"Maybe," Jake allowed. "But, don't tell him I said that. He'd think that this was a good thing."

Of course, I had to do the whole zipping lips and throwing away the key sign. "Mum's the word."

We talked for a little about nonsense stuff like that, the way we used to a couple of years ago. Before I was infested. It wasn't a whole lot different now, except for the fact that Jake was the unofficial leader of the only known resistance of an alien race threatening to overthrow us, and I was still recovering from having been captured by one of them, and being rehabilitated by another.

Yeah, not much difference, at all.

Aftran snickered inside my head at this observation, but it wasn't like I hadn't had similar thoughts before.

On the outside, everything seemed normal enough. Two close brothers hanging out, taking a break from playing video games on a Sunday morning.

(I'll need to feed tonight, unless we get up very early tomorrow morning,) Aftran reminded me, when Jake had taken a bathroom break.

I groaned. (Can't we just go in an hour or so, instead?)

She considered this. (It's a little earlier than standard, but if asked why I'm back already, I could attribute it to my host's family's schedule.)

(So, that's a yes?) I confirmed.

(Yes,) she answered. (There will be more people, in all likelihood, if we go now.)

I shrugged. (It's a hell hole no matter when we go. Might as well get it over with.)

Aftran didn't disagree, and when Jake returned, I told him that Aftran and I were going to the Yeerk Pool so she could get feeding out of the way. Jake looked a little disappointed, but I promised him that we'd be back in a few hours, and I gave him a long hug.

"Be careful, Tom," he told me. "You too, Aftran."

"Always," I promised. "And she'll leave my head when we get back-just to be safe."

Jake nodded. "Yeah. We should always do that, in case anything goes wrong."

I didn't think anything would, but, then again, it was smart to have a fail safe plan. It wasn't like I'd be able to issue a warning if Aftran had been replaced by another Yeerk.

As it turned out, it was mostly aliens feeding that morning/early afternoon. Not that there weren't any humans, but probably, most of them were spending the time with their families, or stuck at one of those jobs where you had to work on Sundays. The line moved quickly, and before I knew it, two Hork-Bajir were dragging me towards an empty cage. For appearance's sake, I had to look broken but angry, and I thought I played my part well. There was no way we could risk me being reclassified as voluntary, with Gariss being a known host breaker and I being a long time involuntary host. We were always a little concerned that "Gariss" would be promoted, but as it hadn't happened in over a year, and Aftran doing little to attempt this, we were cautiously optimistic that we could fly under the radar indefinitely.

Besides, promotions didn't necessarily mean a change in host bodies. One of the sub-Vissers was a girl around my age, in another school district. At least two others "only" had Hork-Bajir host bodies. Not to mention, Visser One held Marco's mom's body as her host. Nothing against hispanic moms, but you'd think that the highest Visser in the Yeerk empire would want something a little closer to an Andalite host body than a regular adult human.

On the other hand, maybe that reflected her power. She could exist in a weak human body and let the shock troops do her dirty work.

Until she fell down a mountain after a fight with the Andalite bandits, having lost a lot of her influence due to enmity with Visser Three.

Or, so the rumors went.

Bored, I let my gaze travel around the cavern. My cage was still empty, but I'd probably get other humans packed in with me before Aftran finished feeding. The screams and cries were a regular part of the involuntary area regardless of the species being held there, but, occasionally, humans tried to hold conversations with other cage mates. Not something I'd ever attempted, although, on occasion, people had reached out to me. I hadn't seen the point, though. Were we supposed to pass secret information to each other? Some kind of underground railroad? If so, it would be for naught, because our Yeerks would know everything when they took us captive. As for companionship? Again, if it helped some people, I wouldn't try to mock or deprive them of it, but I didn't think most people would be close enough to their cage mates to talk to them again anytime soon. There wasn't an algorithm or anything like that, as far as Aftran and I knew. It was more of a "first come, first served" placement. The odds of sharing the same cage with anyone more than once in a month had to be pretty slim.

Still, I could see people talking, and a few shouts about the Andalite bandits coming to kill them all. Not likely. From what I could tell, the last trip the Animorphs had made to the Pool had been Cassie rescuing Aftran.

I wondered how that had gone about in the minds of my fellow involuntary hosts. Maybe, a Yeerk who worked as a rebel was one whose rescue was a good thing. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all. Plus, maybe it gave them hope that they'd be infested by other rebels, who could make their life easier.

Sort of like me. I forced myself to hide a smile at that thought.

Before long, the guards were there, opening my cage, and dragging me to the pool. Not hard enough to do me serious damage, because Gariss had yelled at them early on for having given me bruises. At the time, I'd half hoped this would mean he'd decided to be decent to me, or at least ignore me, but he'd made it clear afterwards that my newfound hope was pathetic.

(Just because I don't want a damaged slave doesn't mean I won't damage you, slave,) he'd taunted, before replaying the events right up to my first infestation.

For five hours straight.

Remembering this almost sent me into a panic attack, and while the Yeerk Pool wouldn't be the worse place to have one, I managed to calm myself down enough to take a deep breath of air before the guards forced my head into the water. It wouldn't do any good for Aftran to enter my head entirely deprived of oxygen.

(I'm back,) she greeted, relaxing my body and standing up. (How are you?)

I gave a mental shrug. (Almost had a panic attack right before they shoved my head in the pool. Otherwise, can't complain.)

She could see the memory, and flinched inside my head. (Oh, honey,) she murmured, giving me a strong mental hug. (I'm so sorry.)

I gave a mental shrug as I relaxed into the hug. (Well, he's in his own prison cell, now,) I pointed out. (Come on. Let's get out of here.)

(Working on it,) she answered, but quickened the speed of my walk.

Once out of the Yeerk Pool, as always, Aftran returned control to me.

(I'm glad we went early. Thank you for suggesting it, Tom,) she told me.

(No problem.)

Even with Aftran there, I couldn't get the memory of Gariss out of my mind. One of the first times he'd tortured me, of many. She noticed, of course.

(I'm here, if you want to talk,) she murmured.

I gave a mental shrug. (What's there to say, really? Temrash tortured me, but stopped when I gave up. Mostly. The torture, I mean. Gariss? He saw me as his own personal punching bag.)

(I've only seen the memories of a few hosts, Tom, but I've heard stories about many others. From members of the Peace Movement. While it may not be especially reassuring to hear this, your experience was the worst I've ever heard described.) Aftran hugged me. (Even among the empire, most Yeerks are not particularly cruel to their hosts. Especially those who have given up. You were given two Yeerks who, in my opinion, not only deserved Kandrona starvation, but the longest Kandrona starvation sentence imaginable. I don't say this lightly, either.)

(How do most Yeerks treat their hosts?) I wondered. (The non Peace Movement ones.)

(Voluntary hosts are always treated well, because of their status as voluntary,) Aftran answered, truthfully. (They can expect to control their bodies for at least an hour a day, sometimes longer. They might even be able to negotiate with their Yeerk to leave certain family members uninfested, much like Rachel's friend, Melissa. Her parents are both hosts, but her father only volunteered to become one in order to keep his daughter free. That may be indefinite, but it's how it is now.)

I hadn't known this before. (How'd you find this out?)

(Cassie's memory,) Aftran replied, simply.

(Oh.)

(As for involuntary hosts...you know as well as I do that it depends on the Yeerk. Some attempt to recruit them, as it were. Explain that it's not too late to become voluntary, and point out the benefits of spending a couple of hours in the voluntary area every three days, rather than in a cage. They might offer control, but not as much as a typical voluntary host. Others ignore their hosts, but they will answer their questions because, well...) Here, Aftran laughed. (We're rather fond of telling our hosts information, especially if they are interested. I imagine that more than one involuntary host has become cooperative due to this semi-respectful treatment.)

(Did Karen ask a lot of questions? She must have, right?) I queried.

(Oh, yes, she had numerous ones. I tried to explain things as well as I could at her level, since she was only six when I first infested her. It helped to use images, when it wouldn't scare her, too much. I didn't-even then, when I believed that hosts were our right and we shouldn't care about their feelings-I didn't want to unnecessarily frighten her. I cared about her, but I thought it was a weakness, and I didn't want her to see that I did,) Aftran explained. (In many ways, it's easier, now.)

(If you...) I began, then didn't finish the sentence. Or, not verbally.

(I know I would have felt horrified at the treatment you received, but I would have expected some, though a lesser amount, from Temrash,) she answered, slowly. Thoughtfully. (I wouldn't have continued it, or threatened to. In all likelihood, I would have attempted to ignore you, in the beginning. Beyond what was necessary. At the same time, I don't think I would have been able to keep myself from trying to rehabilitate you. Maybe not giving you control, but attempting to help in an empire friendly manner.)

(Empire friendly manner?) I repeated, raising my eyebrows.

(Methods not entirely unlike the ones I use now, but, perhaps, more...brusque,) Aftran admitted.

(Like, "It's only a dream, you ignorant host, but here's a good memory if it will make you sleep better"?) I guessed.

She laughed, a little. (Yes, something like that. With the insults diminishing over time, because I would have finally admitted that I cared about you, just as I cared about Karen. With her, though, I didn't need to bother with the insults, because I told myself that she was young enough that they would do more damage than good. Not that I was nearly as gentle with her as I was with you, but when she had nightmares, she looked to me for comfort, and received it.)

I could see this. (You ever give her control?)

(Yes. I let her fall asleep on her own, after the first week. I told myself, and her, that it was easier this way. On occasion, I would give her control if we were alone. Except for that awful cat,) Aftran snickered.

(Was the awful cat sleeping on her lap, at the time?) I teased.

(Possibly.) Aftran raised an eyebrow. (At least once, anyway.)

I smiled to myself, feeling better. (Thanks.)

My parents hadn't arrived when I'd been out, so it was just Jake, looking tense, waiting in the kitchen. Which was pretty much how he always looked when I returned from the Yeerk Pool.

Without preamble, Aftran left my head, and I dropped her in a glass of water Jake had poured. Jake let out a sigh of relief.

"Still her?" he asked me, managing a smile.

I gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Yeah, still her."

Jake relaxed into a chair. "You can't blame me for worrying, Tom."

"Never," I reassured him. "It's not like I don't, whenever we have to go there. I'm always afraid that it won't be her, even though no Yeerk would be foolish enough to attempt to steal a host that wasn't assigned to them."

He nodded. "Yeah. Still, we can't be too careful."

"No argument, there." I fished Aftran out of the water, and placed her to my ear. Jake watched us, like he normally did, as Aftran climbed inside, slowly disappearing into my head.

"You eat lunch yet?" I asked Jake, after washing my hands at the sink. "I was thinking of making a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches."

"No, I haven't eaten," he informed me.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Do you want me to make you any?"

He grinned, a little sheepishly. "Sure. You make them way better than Mom and Dad. Don't tell them I told you."

"Oh, they already know," I laughed. "Since they always seem to wait until I decide to make one, and then ask me to include them. You know," I added, "I should show you the Tom recipe. It's not going to be too long before you and Cassie are officially married and all that."

"I'm fifteen years old," Jake pointed out, but he stood up, heading over to watch me.

"As a near war hero, that's got to be, what? At least 40? You'll be an old man before too long," I teased.

I was sure Jake rolled his eyes at me, but he paid attention to how I made the sandwiches. Since I'd like to keep my recipe a family secret, having spent years (okay, months) experimenting, I'm not going to tell you what I did, here. Neither will Aftran.

Just know that it's amazing.

After they finished cooking and were safely out of the oven, I divvied up the goods between myself (and Aftran) and Tom, which meant we each got two sandwiches. I noticed that Aftran always enjoyed the experience of eating, but it was mostly from a passive standpoint. She'd once told me that Yeerk feeding was much more efficient, because in addition to only needing to feed once every three days, there wasn't any preparation involved. I'd countered that the "flavors" of the Yeerk Pool never changed, while humans had been experimenting with different types of foods for thousands of years. We'd agreed to disagree.

Jake and I didn't talk as we ate, and even Aftran just sat back in my mind, enjoying the grilled cheese the way a Yeerk passenger should. After we finished, I leaned back in my chair, smiling, and watching Jake do the same.

I was almost as happy as I could be, except the memory of Jake-well, Ax-devouring food and playing with words came to mind. I hadn't known, then, that it had been Ax. That Jake had been a slave, and a slave to Temrash, of all Yeerks. Gariss had been new enough to my mind, back then, that he hadn't quite started the torture every moment I was awake. He'd still been studying me, watching me, as I lay defeated in my mind, wishing I could have just died, already.

Even in my defeated haze, I'd noticed that something was up with Jake, so Gariss had needed to acknowledge his strange behavior. My parents even took him to a therapist or psychiatrist afterwards, who just attributed it to stress and a possible growth spurt. Now, thinking about Jake being a slave to Temrash, no matter how short a period of time, just made me feel a little hopeless.

Aftran reached out to me, and wordlessly, I nodded inside my head. She held me, reassuring me.

Jake, not prone to the goings on inside my head, watched me quizzically. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Mostly. I was just thinking of when I was infested with my old Yeerk, after Temrash, and when you'd been captured. Seeing Ax, as you, devour everything that wasn't nailed down," I explained, attempting to make light of it. Failing. "Then, you know, finding out what happened." I could feel a lump form in my throat. "I'm sorry, Midget."

"Tom," Jake insisted, "it wasn't your fault. If it hadn't been for you fighting, I might have joined The Sharing. We all might have."

"You were still infested. With Temrash, of all Yeerks." I could feel the anger, the rawness, in my voice.

It was still new to me. Sure, it had happened to Jake over a year ago, but, clearly, I was still processing it.

Jake reached out, squeezed my hand. "Tom, it wasn't your fault. If it hadn't been for you fighting, I might have joined The Sharing. We all might have. My being infested was some stupid freak accident, because of the Yeerks not wanting us to ruin their new facility for infesting patients. You had nothing to do with it."

I raised my eyebrows. "Temrash had more than a little to do with that part."

"You didn't." He stared me in the eye. "It was never you."

"I just hate to think of you that way. Under this control. Going through the fugue," I continued, feeling like there was no stopping this conversation.

Jake sort of laughed. "The fugue was the easiest part, really. For me. I didn't feel any of the pain. I just watched Temrash, experiencing it. Maybe, if he hadn't been an enemy, it would have been harder." He shrugged. "I mean, I'm sure it would be torture for you or Cassie to watch Aftran go through that. But me? Temrash had stolen my body, was planning to turn in everyone to Visser Three, and spent the better part of the three days either trying to escape, or fantasizing about what Visser Three was going to do with my friends. Kind of hard to feel sorry for someone after that, no matter how much pain they're in. Especially since it wasn't like he felt any remorse about what he'd done. Especially, to you."

I squeezed Jake's hand even harder. "He...wouldn't," I managed. "He was...too..."

I couldn't finish.

Jake sort of nodded. "You know what the last words he said to me were, Tom?"

I shook my head, still holding onto his hand like it was a lifeboat. "What were they?"

"'So. You win, human,'" Jake quoted, in disgust. "Not, I'm sorry. Not even, you win, Jake. Just, you win, human."

I couldn't say I was entirely surprised by this. Well, maybe a part of me was. But it was a very, very small part.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I don't blame you for not feeling sorry for him when he died a painful death."

Jake managed a small smile. "Sometimes, I wonder why he didn't just leave my head when it was obvious he was going to die. He stayed way later than he should have, you know? Yeerks aren't like humans. They don't fight when they know there's no way of winning."

I was kind of dumbfounded at this observation, especially having witnessed this firsthand from Gariss. Even if Erek hadn't been present, I suspected that he would have left my head before the fugue started. Yeerks aren't usually suicidal.

(Maybe, he wanted to give Jake the memory of you,) Aftran suggested. (Since you were his first host.)

(As a gift?) I asked, incredulously.

She shrugged, mentally. (That, or, to show that the Yeerk empire would prevail, and he would have to remain living with a fellow Controller, even after the war ended. There's also the belief that when a Yeerk is so close to death, to inevitable death, the desire to transfer their memories to their host-no matter how much animosity is shared between the two-is greater than the desire to escape the pain.)

I repeated this to Jake, who sort of shrugged.

"If that was his plan, it had the opposite result," he told me, almost smirking. Still holding my hand. "I was more determined than ever to free you. It was just...figuring out how to do it, and keep you alive."

I nodded. Personally, I thought that they could have done so when they met the Chee, or when they found the Hork-Bajir valley. I could have alternated between those two hiding spots. There were dangers present in both places, after all. Still. I didn't think either would have been particularly helpful for my mental recovery. I might have been free, but would I have ever become sane again?

Living with Aftran was the best choice. For me, for her, and for the Animorphs. Even if it meant waiting longer.

I pointed to my head. "No complaints here, Midget."

He laughed. "I'm glad, Tom."

We sat there for a few minutes, in companionable silence. I was able to start cleaning up, when Aftran nudged me, gently.

(You think I should ask him, now?) I guessed.

(Now's as good a time as any,) Aftran pointed out.

I sighed, a little, inside my head. (It's going to be awkward no matter when we ask Jake.)

(True,) she allowed. (I could, if you want.)

(No, I think that would be more awkward than me asking him,) I answered. (Okay. Here goes nothing.)

"Hey, Midget?" I asked Jake, watching his face, which was fixed on his empty plate.

He looked up, nodding, but not answering verbally.

"I've been thinking, I mean, since you told me about Temrash." I gave myself points-internally-for saying his name without flinching or wanting to throw up.

"Yeah?" he asked, a little quizzically.

I noticed that he didn't claim to be okay. Or, that he didn't have nightmares anymore.

"Well," I began, again. "If you ever want help from her..." I pointed to my head. "I mean..."

I trailed off. How, exactly, did you tell your little brother that your Yeerk would be happy to infest them to provide emotional assistance, given that they'd been through hell a couple of years ago from another Yeerk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I wrote in the Jake version...
> 
> This was originally going to be the final chapter, but when I saw how long it was, I thought that here was a good stopping point. The next chapter-which will be the final one of this story-will include what the entire story has been heading towards. Given the ending, I believe that it merits its own chapter. :)


	5. Chapter 5

No wonder The Sharing was all beat around the bush until they infested you.

I half expected Aftran to jokingly call me a coward, but she just hugged me, instead.

To my surprise, Jake nodded, a little. "I, um," he began, then cleared his throat.

I reached out, gently taking his hand. "It's okay if you don't want to, Jake," I assured him.

I glanced at the table, and wondered if this was the kind of conversation we should have with less physical space between us. With the option of, if not a hug fest, at least me putting an arm around his shoulder.

He watched me for awhile, not saying anything. As much as I wondered what my kid brother could possibly be thinking, I knew that now-of all times-wasn't the time to push things.

He'd talk when he was ready.

"Could we...talk in the living room?" Jake finally asked.

Relieved, I tried to be as reassuring, as natural, as possible. "Sure, Midget."

Jake made to move, then looked down at the plates, as though remembering why we'd been in the kitchen in the first place.

"We should probably-you know. Put the dishes in the sink," he observed, almost smiling.

He wasn't wrong. Mom wouldn't exactly have a cow if we left them out there, but she'd be at least a little annoyed.

"Okay," Tom agreed, breaking contact with Jake's hand.

I gathered up my plate and silverware, and put it in the sink, noticing Jake doing the same. I squeezed his shoulders, and we walked to the living room, taking a seat next to each other on the couch.

"You all right, Midget?" I asked him, studying his face for signs.

He nodded, face relaxing, a little. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"You know," I began, "it's just a suggestion, right? We're not gonna just put Aftran in your head unless you're totally okay with it?"

I was pretty sure he knew, but then, maybe not.

At any rate, it couldn't hurt to reiterate this.

For either of us.

To my surprise, Jake sort of smiled. "Yeah." He paused. "I've kind of thought about it. Sort of. I mean," He stopped, again, probably trying to figure out what he wanted to say next. "After we got back and I told you about what happened with Temrash?" At my nod, he continued, "I guess I sort of got to thinking that, maybe, if I spent some time with Aftran, just Aftran, to see what it could be like..."

"She could help you?" I offered. Giving Jake a gentle, playful nudge, I added, "She hasn't exactly hurt me, you know."

He managed a smile. "I've noticed."

I squeezed his hand.

"It's why I asked, earlier this week, about what it was like when she infested you. Kind of," Jake explained.

I frowned, slightly. "Wait. With Temrash...?"

Another nod. "I fell in the pool during the battle, and I was nearly unconscious. I felt this enormous pain in my ear, for awhile, and after I came to, it took me awhile to figure out that a Yeerk had stolen my body. He had to tell me," Jake explained, angrily.

I wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Jake. You couldn't have known."

Inwardly, I thought that it had been so typical of Temrash to do that. Let Jake know in the absolute worst way possible. He'd been a jerk all right, through and through.

"I didn't want to ask Cassie about it, since for her, Aftran's her Yeerk bestie and I figured if there was anything unpleasant about being infested, she'd try to shield me from it. Especially since it would be with Aftran," Jake explained.

I rolled my eyes at the term Marco had thought up. "Yeerk bestie is going to be something we say a lot, now, isn't it?" I joked.

Jake laughed. "Well, it kind of fits. Cassie the tree hugger, the Yeerk hugger."

"Has she ever actually hugged Aftran outside of her head?" I teased.

"Not that I'm aware of," Jake conceded.

(She hasn't,) Aftran confirmed, smiling at me. (Of course, I give her mental hugs, but she hasn't hugged me outside her head.)

"Aftran said that Cassie's never hugged Aftran outside her head," I informed Jake. "So, maybe, we can omit the 'Yeerk hugger' part from her name."

He nodded. "Okay, fair enough."

There was a silence, as we tried to figure out where to go from here. Aftran, thankfully, broke it, in my mind.

(I could talk to him, through you. Explain what would happen if he let me in his ear, and prepare him,) Aftran offered.

(Sure. I think he'd appreciate that,) I answered. (I'll sit back and watch.)

Aftran straightened my body, a little, as she took over. "Jake?" she asked, speaking softly. "It's Aftran."

He glanced at me. At Aftran. "Hi."

"I wanted to speak to you, directly, so that you know what will happen if you let me in your head," she explained. "Some of it is unpredictable, as it will be my first time infesting you, but I can provide you with enough information to prepare for you a-a more traditional infestation experience."

Jake nodded. "Should I ask you questions, or do you want to walk me through it?"

I felt Aftran's emotions towards him turn protective. Affectionate, even. Well, he was my brother. Of course, Aftran cared about him.

"Which would you prefer?"

Jake gnawed on his cheek for a second, thinking this over. "I guess, tell me what will happen."

Aftran nodded my head. "I'll approach your ear, and immediately secrete a painkilling agent that will numb your entire ear. It takes a few seconds to begin working, and a Yeerk's body begins to dry out as soon as it's not in a host body or liquid, so the instinct to climb inside is extremely strong. You might experience mild pain during this time period, before the painkiller begins to work. Tom always does, and so do Cassie. It disappears completely within seconds, often before they can fully react to the discomfort," Aftran began. At Jake's nod of comprehension, she continued. "After this, you will feel pressure as I climb inside, but no immediate loss of control." She paused for a minute, probably going through the entire process in her mind. "When a Yeerk infests a host body for the first time, they always take control, because they don't know the pathway to the control center. The loss of control is gradual and completely random. Once I connect completely with your brain, I will release control entirely to you."

"Once I connect completely with your brain," Aftran assured him, "I will release control entirely to you."

"You don't think you can keep from taking control at all?" he asked, and I noted that his voice was shaky.

Aftran sighed, a little. "It's unlikely." She paused. "Then again, you and Tom are brothers, so there are more genetic similarities than with any other hosts I have infested. It might be possible, in your case, but I don't want to make any promises that I cannot keep."

"Maybe if we'd been identical twins?" he joked.

I gave a mental sigh of relief that Jake was calm enough to be able to joke about it.

It wasn't a half bad one, either.

Aftran laughed. "Well, perhaps."

"Okay." Jake paused, clearly trying to think about what to ask next. "How long will I be-you know?"

"It can vary. For a human, no longer than two minutes." Aftran held Jake's hand. "I realize that must seem like an unending amount of time when you can't move on your own, Jake," she added, sympathetically. "I will release control as soon as I can."

Jake nodded, determined. "Okay. Once you're in my mind, then what? Will you see all of my memories?"

Aftran shook my head. "I will see whatever you're thinking, but I will not open any of your memories," Aftran reassured my brother. "I will be able to communicate with you, much like thought speech. I imagine that Temrash did this with you, before, so you know what it's like?"

"Yeah." Jake nodded his head, but I didn't miss the flinch.

Probably remembering what Temrash had done to him. Anger filled me. If that psychotic slug hadn't already died from the fugue...

(Tom,) Aftran soothed.

(I know. I know,) I grumbled.

She spoke up again, even more gentle than before. "After I'm connected, and you have full control back, what happens next is up to you."

"What do you mean?" Jake pressed. "We'll talk, right?"

Aftran nodded. "We can just talk, if you like. I can give you a mental hug, if you are comfortable allowing me to do so." She smiled. "Cassie and Tom enjoy them. But, really, I'll let you take over, in all senses. The worst part will be in the beginning, but the rest will be up to you. Including when I leave your head."

(If you don't offer him a mental hug, I might have to kill you,) I teased Aftran.

(I'd offer even if my life wasn't at stake,) Aftran retorted, sending me an image of a Yeerk sticking out their tongue.

(All right, all right,) I conceded.

Jake spoke up again.

"When you leave my head...will that hurt?" he asked.

She shook my head, again. "I'll secrete the same painkiller as I did before, and I will be able to wait longer without my instincts taking over. It won't hurt at all."

(You Yeerks and your verbiage,) I half grumbled, half teased. (You could have just said "no".)

(Then, he might ask why,) Aftran pointed out.

(Maybe. Probably not,) I retorted.

(Granted,) Aftran conceded.

"And you promise that you won't take control or go through any of my memories unless I give you the okay?" Jake pressed.

"Yes, Jake. I promise," she answered, simply.

(See? I can be succinct?) Aftran added.

(Never said you couldn't.) I sent her a mental eye roll.

I spoke up, then. "Aftran's telling the truth, Tom. She'll be really gentle, respectful, of your mind."

Jake studied me. Us. "Okay. But, let's do it now, or I'll just freak out and lose my nerve."

I pulled him into a hug. "You're the bravest kid I know, Midget."

Jake grinned, face reddening at the praise. We hugged for at least a few minutes, but Jake finally let go.

"Stay with me?" he asked.

I wrapped an arm around arm shoulders. "Absolutely, Jake. I'll be here the whole time," I promised.

Aftran spoke up, then. "I'll leave your brother's head, and he can either place me in your ear, or you can do it on your own. I won't dry up immediately, but it will feel unpleasant as soon as I am outside of a host body," she cautioned.

"I understand. I'll be quick," he promised.

(Yeah, don't worry. We're not going to let you die,) I told her.

(I know,) she laughed. (See you soon, honey.)

(Be careful with my brother,) I half joked, half warned.

(Absolutely,) she promised.

A minute later, I felt her leave my head, and the wave of emptiness that always seemed to accompany that. I watched as her flattened body resumed its regular shape, running a few fingers along her.

"Okay, Midget?" I asked him. "You sure?"

Jake's face was pale, but he nodded. "Yeah."

"How do you want to handle this?" I questioned, watching him.

"I'll do it. I think we've both had too many nightmares of the other way," he pointed out.

He wasn't wrong.

I handed him Aftran, and, shaking a little, he put her to his ear. A minute later, he flinched, but his face relaxed. We sat down, and I held Jake close.

We remained like that for awhile. After a couple of minutes, Jake spoke up, letting me know that he was back in control, but other than that, he stayed silent. I wondered-okay, worried-about how everything was going. I knew that Aftran would be respectful of Jake, but I also knew that Jake had suffered through an extremely painful three days before, and that had to cloud his experience. On the other hand, I'd been a host for nearly three years, and I'd come to care for Aftran as an almost familial figure. Something between a parent and an older sister, maybe.

Maybe I could have gotten up, grabbed a book or magazine, to pass the time. But, besides it feeling insensitive, I knew there was no way I'd be able to concentrate.

I just held Jake in my arms, waiting for whatever would happen next.

I knew that Aftran wouldn't mistreat him, of course. But, infestation wasn't always a good experience. Even people who started off as voluntary with decent enough Yeerks might not stay that way. Or, they might cooperate, but only because it was that or risk worse treatment from another Yeerk.

I hoped that neither of us would look back on this decision with regret.

After awhile, I saw Aftran leave Jake's head. I took a deep breath.

He was smiling. Smiling at Aftran. Carefully, he handed her to me. I took her, and before placing her in my head, I wrapped a free arm around Jake's shoulder.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He nodded, smiling at me. "I can see why you and Cassie like her," he told me. "But, don't worry. I'm not going to ask to share in your custody arrangement."

Relieved, I snickered, then placed Aftran to my ear. "I totally get it if you want to keep whatever you talked about between you. That being said, I'm here if you want to tell me about it."

"Thanks." He curled up against me. "Not right now, though. I'm kind of tired."

"Yeah. It can be pretty draining, even with the good ones," I acknowledged, grabbing a blanket from the side of the couch, and wrapping it around us. "Mind if I watch some TV while you take a nap?"

He shook his head, stretching his legs out under the blanket. "Thanks, Tom. You know..."

I tucked a piece of loose hair over his ear. "No problem, Midget. Sleep well."

By now, Aftran had made the connections to my head.

(Everything go okay?) I asked her.

(Yes, everything went very well,) she assured me. (I believe I helped him, at least a little, and he certainly is no longer worried that I'm a potential hazard to you.)

(Great. Next thing we need to do is get you morph capable, and maybe a human morph,) I mused. (We'll need to use my DNA, so that you don't end up looking like a female Ax,) I laughed. (He'd go completely crazy if a Yeerk looked like she could be his sister.)

(Oh, don't I know it!) Aftran laughed. (After all, he only just forgive me for infesting him in order to save his life. Nearly sharing a human morph with him would be an affront to the Andalite home world.)

I blinked. (Wait. You did what?)

With that, Aftran began to tell me the entire story.

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I sort of expected this chapter to be shorter than the accompanying Jake one, I didn't expect the Jake one to be nearly four times as long. Then again, a lot more happens in this version, even if it's only in Jake's head.
> 
> The next story in this series will probably be one chapter for each character. The first character is Tom, of course, but the second character won't be Jake, and it won't be Cassie. Hint: Her name begins with A.
> 
> If you've enjoyed this story, please take a few minutes to leave kudos or, even better, feedback.

**Author's Note:**

> So, in a slight departure in my Alliance series pattern, I'm changing two things in this story.
> 
> 1\. Instead of Tom and Cassie telling their stories, it's Tom and Jake. As much as I love Cassie, she just doesn't have much of a story to tell in this version. Unlike Jake.
> 
> 2\. The stories will be posted separately, but each chapter consists of MOSTLY the same events, just from each character's perspective.
> 
> I would suggest that you read the Tom chapter first, and then the Jake chapter, but really, either way can work. That's solely my suggestion! :)
> 
> A thank you to YPM for reading other the first draft, and a huge thanks to Pupuni for reading over both versions, side by side, and commenting not only on the story, but where individual lines vary. Turns out, even when I'm trying very hard to write the same line from both character's perspectives, I still end up making mistakes. This is why we need beta readers!


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